A few weeks ago, Trena, one of the members of our community shared her testimony of God’s grace and mercy even in the death of her husband. With her permission, we are sharing her story with you.
Warning: This could be long and have grammatical errors. However, this is from my heart and this is my testimony from the last year. Hopefully this can encourage someone else.
A year ago I came home and the way my husband was acting I thought he needed sleep. He did this all the time. He wouldn't sleep then he would be in like a sleep but awake state. At 5:30 I got him in bed. I checked on him at 8:30 and he seemed to be fine so I went to bed. I woke up at 10:38 and he wasn't breathing right. Once again this wasn't the first time. Every time he went into the hospital this is what I woke up to. Luckily this time God made sure I had 3 great friends with me when I got the news that my husband died. Another great friend and the girls youth director drove an hour away at 2:30 in the morning to tell the girls. That was the worst part.
During this time I couldn't think and everything was so overwhelming. I had already lost both of my parents and very close family members but this was different. I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I said that it felt like I was on a cloud and it took me everywhere I need to be. I now see that as Gods hands carrying me.
“Sing to God, sing the praise of his name, extol him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before him - his name is the LORD. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” — Psalm 68:4-5
I decided that God had to be my everything. My confidant, my provider, my guide, literally MY EVERYTHING. He spoke to me often. He continued to tell me that I wasn't alone and to let Him take care of me. I truly have let go and became obedient. My 4th and 5th months were the hardest and I wondered on some days if I would ever be my joyful energetic self again.
From the beginning my plan was to move this summer to be closer to my girls. I always felt at peace to move and be closer to my them but never had peace about moving to the town they lived in. In April my youngest started talking about moving to Killeen, where my bonus daughter and granddaughter live. I really didn't think much about it. My oldest had a job that she didn't want to leave, so I chalked it off. 4 days later her job gave 200 people pink slips and she lost her job. The youngest and I both started praying and wondering if God was speaking. The girls went to visit and checked it out. They came back and told me that they thought this was the place and to put my application in and see what happened. I put it in on a Tuesday, by Monday I had to interviews and Tuesday I had a job.
I was so scared to leave my support and great friends but I also knew that God was calling me to move. So on June 30th, James birthday and 10 months to the day of him passing away I moved to Killeen, TX. That was the hardest week since the day I lost James. I knew I had to find a church. So I started googling and God showed me where to go.
Not only has He brought me great church people but He has also brought me a great team. One if my team mates has shown me around and has made sure that I'm taken care of. For someone that just moved here 2 months ago, I have a good support group and friends that I wouldn't hesitate to call.
Last year I told God that I knew if I was still here that meant I still had a purpose, so let's get this show on the road. He told me that I had to take this year to grieve then things would start to happen. Well, He has already moved me and changed so many things. I now wait to see what He does next.
He has never left me. I trust Him more today than I ever did. I believe everything He tells me about myself. The song by Lauren Daigle, You Say, are perfect
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing.
You say I am strong when I think I am weak.
You say I am held when I am falling short.
When I don’t belong, You say I am Yours.
And I believe.
I believe what You say of me.
One more thing that God told me. James was mentally, physically and spiritually drained from epilepsy, depression, anxiety and bipolar. God said that He had mercy and grace for James and he took him home. Then a couple months later He told me that He also had grace and mercy on me.
by Trena Watson
Trena Watson was married for 26 years and has now been widowed for 1 year. She has 3 daughters and a granddaughter. She's been a kindergarten teacher and now teaches Pre-K.
Comments
I don’t know if you’ll see this, Trena, but it’s Randall, James’ friend. I’m devasted to have learned of his passing. He was a great man and I know he loved you and the girls more than anything. Your whole family helped me through some tough times way back when. I’m glad to hear you are all together, I hope that’s still the case. Your husband was a mentor to me. I learned a great deal from him and I’ll always remember him fondly. Thank you for sharing your experience here. If you can reach out, I’d love to hear from you guys. God bless y’all, you’ll all be in my prayers, as will James. I’m so sorry for your loss.