The Night Before
As I type this, it’s the night before an appointment with a doctor. Not my annual physical or some other appointment that I had expected to have this year, but instead it’s an appointment with a specialist for a possible diagnosis I never considered I’d have to face. I trust God, I love God, but let’s face it, I’m a little scared. My husband and a circle of friends and family are praying for me. I’m surrounded by so much love. I’m reading and re-reading the page long text messages from prayer warriors who are going before our Father on my behalf; asking Him to touch my body and not allow the diagnosis we fear to become a reality. I am so comforted by their prayers and their words are truly a balm to my heart.
The Day Of
It’s now 2pm and I’m sitting waiting for my appointment. Actually I’m in between doctors appointments. I already had one earlier this morning. The last few weeks haven’t been what I expected. Our boxes of encouragement ship at the end of each month, so I expected the last 2 weeks to be busy; but a different kind of busy. Not the kind where you’re going from doctor’s office to doctor’s office re-explaining a list of symptoms to new faces each time, wondering if this will be the doctor who can give you the answer to your aches and pains.
Acceptance vs Expectation
It’s been 3 days since those appointments. Before I get into what the doctors said, I want to talk about our expectations. Thinking back to how I felt the night before and the day of, I was actually at peace. Yes, there was a little worry about how my life would change if I was diagnosed with what I feared, but I was ready to accept God’s Will either way. I was patting myself on the back because I wasn’t “freaking out”. It seemed like I was in a good place. But since then I’ve been wondering, why I was so ready to just deal with whatever diagnosis came my way. Why was I so ready to accept the outcome, instead of expecting more of God? I know our God can do GREAT things, so why was I so ready to settle for what I thought was inevitable?
Can you relate? It makes me think about that saying, “if you expect nothing, you’ll never be disappointed.” Are you scared to let yourself expect good things because of something that happened in the past or because life has been tough lately? What have you settled for as the status quo? What have you given up on asking God to change? What have you forced yourself to be content with, when you know in your heart that God has something better for you?
Our God is all powerful, Almighty and full of love for us. So what keeps us from living each day in joyful expectation of the good things He has planned for us? He’s promised us so much. He’s promised to never leave us. (Hebrews 13:5) He’s promised to meet all our needs. (Philippians 4:19) He’s promised to forgive us. (1 John 1:9) He’s promised that nothing can separate us from His love. (Romans 8:38-39) He’s promised to give us the desires of our heart when we delight ourselves in Him, commit our ways to Him and trust Him. (Psalm 37:4-5)
I challenge you to examine your life for where you have just accepted a situation and given up hope that God can perform a miracle. Please don’t misunderstand me. This isn’t an argument against contentment. Being content and grateful for what you have and where you are in your life right now is important.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Philippians 4:12-13
You can be content while also living your life with anticipation and expectation that God can bless you in a big way and change your situation at His right time. Why don’t you think God can do it? He is still in the miracle business and we know that nothing is impossible for Him, so I encourage you to start each day with great expectations and pray God’s promises over your life.
So I’ve held you in suspense long enough….my diagnosis is that I still don’t have a diagnosis. I was not diagnosed with what I feared. Praise The Lord! The doctors still aren’t 100% sure where my aches and pains are coming from. But I am moving forward having learned a good lesson through this experience. What I thought was contentment was actually my way of protecting myself from disappointment. I accepted a diagnosis I hadn’t even been given because I was scared to expect that God would perform a miracle.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. ~Corrie Ten Boom
But He did perform a miracle. I was not given the diagnosis that I feared. Even though so many signs and symptoms are pointing in one direction, God still has the final say. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1) So instead of believing there is no hope, I choose to hope against hope. I choose to rejoice every morning, expecting God to work a miracle in this situation and clear up all my symptoms in His right time. And while I wait expectantly, I will be content with the strength and grace He’s given me to face each new day.
Can you relate? In what area of your life have you accepted the situation instead of expecting more from God?
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.