I have often felt unworthy. I've felt like I'm not important, that what I do isn't important, that my life isn't important. Those are lies of the enemy, but I'm not ashamed to say I believed them before. I allowed the enemy to whisper his lies into my mind. I allowed the enemy to use people to make me question my self worth. I allowed the enemy to use other's worldly success and popularity to make me feel unimportant.
Let's be real, it can feel like we're constantly being rated and judged by the world. We've all heard about the comparison trap and how social media is one of the ways we fall into comparing our real lives to other people's perfectly curated online lives. But what about those every day questions that sometimes innocently are asked when people are just trying to get to know you....
Where did you go to school?
What degrees do you have?
What do you do for a living?
What kind of car do you drive?
Where do you live?
Do you own your own home?
Are you married?
How much money do you make?
And my personal favorite....How many kids do you have?
The person asking might judge you based on your answer, but I've found that more often, I judge myself.
I was just talking with some friends about how I used to shy away from telling people where I grew up for fear of being judged. That fear wasn't unfounded. I have had many experiences of being the target of stereotypes and discrimination based on things like where I have lived.
And then there's that lovely question, "how many kids do you have?"
That's another one of those innocent questions that we ask each other, without realizing the impact it can have on those who are not childless by choice.
But this post isn't about my infertility, it's about how the enemy can use those things you are insecure about, to make you question your worth.
You Are Worth Far More Than Rubies
When I'm asked if I have kids, or how many I have, I used to immediately think about how I'm not as important as other women who are moms. I have even thought I wasn't worthy of my husband's love because I can't give him a child.
I realize that this isn't something that I can control, but for a long time I let this make me feel ashamed.
Can you relate?
Maybe not to feeling less important, because you're not a mom, but what about some area of your life where you don't seem to measure up to what others expect of you?
It's overwhelming thinking about all the ways our worth, value and impact are measured by the world and how the enemy uses that to make us question our own worth.
But after some really deep valley seasons of depression and struggle, I've realized that the enemy is simply wrong. My worth, your worth, isn't measured by him or the world.
"Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies" -Proverbs 31:10 KJV
It All Comes Back To God
He assigned a value and importance to your life before you were even born. That's why you were born! Don't rush past that, you, YES YOU, play an important role in HIStory.
Over and over again in the Bible, God uses people who the world see as unworthy in powerful ways. He uses people who the world has judged or disregarded to do incredibly important things.
In my life He's helped me see how even though the world might make me feel unworthy because I'm not a mom, He believes I'm worthy of the assignment He's given me to encourage you. That assignment, that mission, is just as important as raising children for His Glory.
No matter what the world or the enemy tries to tell you about yourself, the only opinion that matters is God's.
It all comes back to Him.
He created you, He assigns worth and importance to your life and no one can take that away. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of who He created you to be. Don't let anyone make you feel that what He has assigned you to do is unimportant.
Not being a mom, I have an almost indescribable appreciation for motherhood and all it entails. It breaks my heart when I talk to women who are stay at home moms who tell me they don't feel as important as their friends who are doctors or teachers or work in marketing for some big brand. I remind them that what they are doing, raising the child or children that God blessed them with, is of great importance in God's eyes. That He has some special purpose for that child's life and He's trusted you with them. I also feel that being a mom isn't only about the child. My friends who are mom's are some of the most patient people I know. They are not perfect...they loose their cool at times....but talk about growing in the Fruit of the Spirit! I have learned so much about patience from watching them. They don't even realize how they have helped me cultivate more patience in my every day life. They are just as important and worthy as anyone else.
You are here for a reason. The fact that God created you gives you value. He is purposeful in everything He does, so don't let the world tell you any different.
Do you feel worthy and important? Why or why not?
Comment below and let me know.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.