How long should I cleave to my past?

Our story can dictate our decisions and our life. We can hold onto our story so much that it causes present pain. Where does your past take you? Does it cause regret, fear or heartbreak? Does your past produce negative emotions? If your answer is yes, then you may be cleaving to the past. It’s good when we’re able to look back on the past and see where it’s brought us. This helps us to see life from a positive perspective. Our past is a testimony for others and can bring someone closer to Christ. Our past story can change a heart. However, the issues arise when:

  • we use our past to justify the present.

  • we use or past to evoke an emotional response from others, and to seek attention and affirmation from others.

  • we live in the past, remembering the “good ole days”.

  • we allow the guilt, pain and heartbreak that led us to make unhealthy and unwise choices that eventually haunt us.

Though some stories are devastating and painful we don’t have to continue to live in them, and they don’t have to dictate who we are in the present. Philippians 3:13-14 We can have a story without being the story. You are not your story. You story is only a fraction of who you are. It doesn’t determine who you are.

How can you take your past and use it for God’s purpose?

  1. Allow Christ to recreate you. 2 Corinthians 5:17

  2. Stop believing the lie that you are your past. Isaiah 43:18-19

  3. Believe who God says you are. Galatians 5:1

The Take Away

  1. Jesus has a plan bigger than your past. 1 John 1:9

  2. Jesus is the ultimate designer. He can take your past and turn it around for your good. Romans 8:28

  3. Jesus wants you to give Him your past. Romans 12:1-2

Check Your Motives

  1. Why am I hanging on to my story?

  2. Is hanging onto my story bringing me closer to Jesus?

  3. Can I allow Christ to heal my mind and create a new story?

Denetra Gray

by Denetra Gary

Denetra is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with seven years’ experience in the field of mental health counseling. Coming from a dysfunctional family, she’s spent years overcoming mental and emotional strongholds that led to fear, anxiety, depression and many other unsettling mental battles. She gave her heart to the Lord as a young child and has always desired to be a virtuous woman in Christ. Through her personal testimony and professional growth, the desire to help others overcome emotional and mental struggles was born.

Denetra’s mission is to restore the entire family unit back to God’s original plan. She does this by helping each individual at a time. Though she typically initiates this change by working with women, she is skilled in helping all individuals who struggle with anxiety, depression, chronic disorganization, and dysfunction. She uses her Christian based therapeutic counseling abilities, skills, knowledge, and insights to guide the individual toward wholeness, interpersonal competence, mental stability, and spiritual maturity. She is personally devoted, and deeply committed to helping individuals overcome deep emotional roots and scars that lead to sin and mental health dysfunction. Learn more at

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