When I woke up this morning, I had absolutely no intention of opening my Bible to the Book of Revelation. Rarely in my life have I felt led to specifically read it as part of my morning quiet time with God. I often go to the Bible for encouragement and to be challenged in my understanding of God's character, who He is and how He wants me to behave in this world, but I don't usually seek out reading about the "end times".
I know that's a popular topic for many and the Book of Revelations should not be ignored. However I often feel like it's used by some to scold and scare others instead of a book to help us reflect on ourselves.
So this morning, as I entered my quiet time, I really didn't feel led to do anything specific. I thought, maybe I'll just close my eyes and pray for a bit, or maybe I'll continue reading The Quest for Meekness and Quietness of Spirit by Matthew Henry. But nope, the Holy Spirit had other plans. I opened one of my favorite prayer apps, Lectio 365, and listened to todays devotional. It talked about our bodies being a temple and that because they are a temple, where the Holy Spirit resides, that also means our bodies are a house of prayer.
I said a short prayer to ask God to clean my heart and change it's disposition so I could hear Him and grow in Him more. And then, as I sat quietly thinking, I heard "Revelations".
So I grabbed my Bible, flipped to Revelations and began to read.
Actually, lemme be completely honest, I did immediately grab my Bible and flip to the Book of Revelations, then I looked to see how long it was, thought, "really Lord? do you want me to read this entire book right now?"...and then I began to read.
Revelations is literally "The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things that must soon take place. He made it known by senfing his angel to his servant John" who bore witness and wrote it all down. (Revelations 1:1-2)
It begins with a message John is given for each of the seven churches. He tells them that he was on the island of Patmos, he was spending time with God and was in the Spirit and heard behind him a loud voice like a trumpet. As he turned to see the voice that was speaking, he was shocked to the point that he fell out. If you don't believe me, read it for yourself in Revelations 1:9-20.
The voice tells him to write what he sees in a book and send it to the seven churches, to Ephesus, Smyrna, Pergamum, Thyatira, Sardis, Philadelphia, and Laodicea.
As I read through his letters, I began to connect the messages to myself and our world today. Often as Christians we make the mistake of thinking God's rod and correction are meant for others. That when He calls out sin or unrighteousness, He is talking about non-believers or that other Christian sitting on a different pew in the sanctuary.
But nope, He's talking to you and me too.
I'm not a Bible scholar, I'm just a normal Christian like you, learning day-by-day and making lots of mistakes along the way. As I read John's message to each church, which is actually God's message to each church, I was struck by how relatable they are to our churches today.
Relatable to the congregation of the church you personally attend and relatable to the universal church, especially in the United States of America today. The Bible is not written for America specifically. I think that's a trap we fall into too, but that conversation is for another blog....
Today I just want to share what I got out of each letter. I hope in reading this you'll get something out of it too.
In order to be ready when that trumpet sounds, we must examine our own hearts and make sure we're ready. Yes, we must witness to others, but the biggest ah-ha moment that came out of my Bible study time today is that even those who consider themselves Christians may not be ready. Remember, John was told to write these letters to churches, not to non-believers.
Grab your Bible and flip to the Book of Revelations with me.
I invite you to read each passage and then come back and read my thoughts that I've shared below. Don't get offended by my questions....or if you do, take that up with God, not me. I'm preaching to myself as much as I'm sharing with you.
What is each letter saying to you? Can you see yourself or your church community reflected in the warnings?
Read Revelation 2:1-7
Although they work hard against those who are evil, calling out false prophets, they have abandoned, forgotten about, took their focus off of their first love. They may think they are righteous, but God is telling them they must repent. They must turn their focus back to loving God first.
Do you focus so much on the sin of others that you have fallen into sin yourself and have taken your focus off of loving God first and foremost? Do you spend as much time expressing your love for Him as your distain for false prophets?
Read Revelations 2:8-11
There are false believers among them. Those who profess to love God, but who actually belong to the evil one. Those who life to themselves and others about their true faith. All will be tested and have tribulation, but those who are faithful to God even in the face of death will receive everlasting life.
Can you recognize a false believer? Some of us are "playing church" but don't actually practice what the Bible teaches. Examine your heart and those believers who you listen to, to make sure that things line up with God's Word and have not been twisted by the enemies influence. When your faith is tested, will you be proved faithful?
Read Revelation 2:12-17
They live in the midst of evil, it's all around them. Yet they are faithful and bold followers of Christ, not ashamed of the Gospel, even when Antipas, a believer was killed. But they still must rep0ent for entertaining those who practice idolatry and sexual immorality.
Are you bold and unashamed, yet also trip over the stumbling blocks the enemy places in your life? Do you struggle to live in the world, but not become of it?
Read Revelation 2:18-29
There are those who act with love, faith and service towards God and listen to false prophetess Jezebel's teachings that seduce them into idolatry and immorality. There are those who do not believe her teachings and they must hold fast until Christ's return, for they will be rewarded for not giving up. They will be given authority over the nations as God gave authority to Jesus.
You cannot serve both God and the enemy. Do not be double-minded believing in the "universe" and God. The universe has no power, it is not God. God created it. Crystals do not have power. All power comes from God. Be careful not mix Biblical teachings from the Word of God with new age philosophies created by man. Hold fast to The Truth.
Read Revelation 3:1-6
They have a reputation for being alive but they are dead. Their works are worthless in the eyes of God. There are only a few people among them who are true followers of Christ and are worthy.
Just because a church or it's leadership is "famous" in Christian circles, it does not mean they are aligned with Christ. They can be doing great things in the world, things that have positive impact, yet they can also be doing these things without a true heart for God. You don't have to be a Christian to do good things. There are many good people who are not Christians. Be careful not to find yourself among those who use Christianity as their brand, but are not actually believers in all the teachings of Jesus Christ.
Read Revelation 3:7-13
They have kept God's Word and are true believers. They will be kept safe during the time of testing that those who pretend to be followers of Christ will go thru. He encourages them to hold tight to their faith so that no one can steal their crown and their place as pillars in the temple of God.
Live encouraged! Hold tight to your faith, even when the world is in chaos. Do not let anything steal your faith or your joy as you continue to persevere until Christ's return and eternity with Him on the other side of Heaven.
Read Revelation 3:14-22
They are lukewarm in their faith. They are content because they are not in need. They do not seek their lack of fervor for God. He tells them to repent and knock at the door of the Lord. To awaken them from their slumber and engage in relationship with Christ, the Father and the Holy Spirit before it's too late.
Just calling yourself a Christian is not enough. Living a good life and going to church on Sunday is not the same as having a vibrant and growing personal relationship with God. Is your faith lukewarm? We all go thru lukewarm seasons, but don't let that be your testimony. Do you have a testimony? What is it? What valleys has he brought you thru? What mountains has he helped you climb? How can you go deeper, grow deeper in your understanding of who He is? Are you knocking at His door or are you just sitting comfortably waiting for Him to make the first move?
I truly hope something in my random Bible study rambings and notes convicts you to actively seek God's wisdom on the condition of your heart and where He wants you to grow.
I want to be like those in the church at Philadelphia that God calls worthy believers and whom He encourages to continue to hold fast to their faith. But if I'm honest, I can definitely see reflections of the behavior of the other churches in my life and my spirit. What about you?
Let's discuss and encourage each other in how we can live lives worthy of the high calling of Jesus Christ and be ready when that trumpet sounds. Comment below or join me inside the Loved and Blessed Ladies online community where we constantly encourage and challenge each other in our spiritual growth.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
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Building a strong foundation starts with seeking God's presence daily. Discover how to deepen your relationship with God through prayer, Bible study, and meditation. By prioritizing this intimate connection, you'll experience His peace and find the encouragement you need to face life's trials.
Scripture: "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
Finding a supportive community of Christian women can make a significant impact on your spiritual growth. Explore the benefits of joining Bible study groups, attending church events, and connecting with online communities. Together, you'll encourage one another, share wisdom, and build lasting friendships. Of course I can't share this tip without encouraging you to check out our community, Loved and Blessed Ladies.
Scripture: "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." - Hebrews 10:24-25 (ESV)
In a world filled with negativity, it's crucial to nourish your mind with positive and uplifting content. Discover the power of godly literature, inspiring podcasts, and faith-based media. Fuel your mind with God's truth and find the encouragement to live out your faith.
Scripture: "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." - Philippians 4:8 (ESV)
Practicing gratitude can transform your perspective and infuse joy into your daily routine. Learn how to cultivate a grateful heart through journaling, reflection, and acknowledging God's blessings. By focusing on gratitude, even in challenging times, you'll discover a wellspring of encouragement and a renewed appreciation for God's faithfulness.
Scripture: "Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (ESV)
As a Christian woman, it's crucial to prioritize self-care and honor the temple God has given you. Discover practical ways to care for your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Nurture your body through exercise, rest, and nourishing meals. By practicing self-care, you'll have the energy and resilience to face life's challenges with confidence.
Scripture: "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body." - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 (ESV)
During difficult seasons, it's easy to forget God's faithfulness in our lives. Start a gratitude journal and record answered prayers, divine interventions, and moments of blessings. Reflecting on God's past faithfulness will ignite hope in your heart and inspire you to trust Him in every circumstance.
Scripture: "I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds." - Psalm 77:11-12 (ESV)
Prayer is a powerful tool that connects us intimately with God. Learn how to pour out your heart, seek His guidance, and surrender your desires to His perfect will. Through prayer, you'll experience peace, receive divine direction, and find the encouragement to navigate life's challenges with confidence.
Scripture: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)
Dear sisters in Christ, staying encouraged as a Christian woman is a journey that requires intentional effort and a reliance on God's grace. By implementing these seven powerful tips—seeking God's presence daily, embracing a supportive community, feeding your mind with positive content, cultivating gratitude, practicing self-care, journaling God's faithfulness, and embracing the power of prayer—you'll find yourself equipped to stay encouraged and inspired in your walk with Christ. Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, loved by the Almighty God. Stay encouraged, my sisters, and let your light shine brightly as you journey in faith.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
What's funny is yesterday I felt fine. The day before I was actually feeling myself, thinking I was pretty cute. But today a wave of insecurity, envy, unworthiness and depression have washed over me and I feel ugly.
Have you ever experienced this?
Nothing has changed from yesterday to today. Nothing outwardly, but something changed in my spirit. This has happened to me before. In grade school, high school and college there would be times I would suddenly feel that my outward appearance didn't measure up to my peers. They were beautiful and I wasn't. What "beautiful" meant shifted over time and with the trends of our culture, but whatever the standard of beauty was, I never measured up.
I distinctly remember a season where I felt the most beautiful and confident in my outward appearance and looking back, I now recognize the things that chipped away at that confidence I had in my natural God-given beauty. But I digress....
The key word in that sentence is feel, because nothing has changed from yesterday to today.
In the past, this feeling would have completely overwhelmed me and sent me into a self-loathing and depression cyclone. But by God's Grace I have learned how to be more self-aware and identify these negative thoughts and lies of the enemy.
So today I started with prayer. Just a simple one, asking the Holy Spirit to touch my mind and lift this weight of depression I felt pushing down on me.
Then I went to the word and reminded myself of the truth.
Do not let adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of he heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV
You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. Song of Solomon 4:7
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but he LORD looks o the heart." 1 Samuel 16:7
Reading scripture helps me take capture my thoughts and bring them into alignment with what I know to be true, but I'm struggling to truly believe in the moment.
Once I've done that I can go deeper and examine what I'm actually feeling and what might have triggered it.
The enemy is throwing his darts of attack at us all the time. Sometimes they bounce right off and other times they pierce us and stick. Today is one of those days that for some reason his dart was able to pierce my armor. My struggle today is not with the way I look. My struggle is actually with the spiritual forces that are trying to weaken my God confidence. My belief in who I am and who God designed me to be.
The enemy is trying to use my insecurities about my outward appearance to weaken my inner spirit. But.I won't let that happen and you shouldn't let it happen either.
What weakened my armor and allowed me to get hit? After praying and reading I was able to clear my mind and think. I pulled out my journal and started to work through my thoughts. My favorite tool to help me in moments like this is a guided thought journal. When I'm struggling, sometimes a blank page allows me too much room to allow my thoughts to get worse. Instead of challenging the lies, I start to expand upon them and write them down. So using a tool that prompts me to challenge my negative thoughts and remind myself of the truth that contradicts them is key. So I pulled out my Worry For Nothing Journal and started writing.
And as crazy as it might sound, I realized that a documentary I watched on TV last night made me envious of another woman's life, her beauty and her confidence. I didn't actually feel envious while watching it. I even identified with some of the struggles she's experienced that are similar to mine. But subconsciously a thought of "I wish I looked like her," "I wish I had her hair," "I wish I had her figure," "I wish people saw me that way," bubbled up in my spirit and I looked in the mirror and thought, "I'm ugly."
I know I'm not ugly. And by the way, neither are you.
Identifying the lies and scheme of the enemy helps me to get back in my right mind.
God has given us a sound mind, but just like with our physical body, we need to take care of our mind. Mental health is important not just for those who've been diagnosed with a mental illness, but for everyone, because throughout normal daily life, the enemy will try to attack your thoughts in order to discourage you from being able to fulfill God's good and perfect will for your life.
Today he attacked my confidence in my outward beauty. Tomorrow he might try to attack my faith in God's financial provision or my feeling of safety or my trust in a lifelong friendship. Who knows, he's got all kinds of schemes.
But the way to find victory in your daily life is to be self-aware, pray immediately, meditate on God's Word and challenge your thoughts in light of the truth you find in it.
It's not always easy. There are times when that self-awareness isn't immediate and I go a few days before realizing that the enemy is attacking my mind, but I've found that God is always faithful when I go to Him and seek his help. He has already given us victory over the enemy's schemes, but we have to put our belief into practice by walking out our faith and fighting with all the armor that God provides.
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To Him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 5:6-11
P.S. If you want some friends who will walk alongside you and fight for your mind, join me inside our online community. Hope to see you there!
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
I was the girl who warned her former pastor to speak with someone who was being clearly disruptive and damaging to our congregation before I spoke with them myself and we all ended up on CNN… He promptly went ahead and spoke with the person. I am also the one who suggested to my current pastor that a group of us ladies go out and get our CCW (concealed carry weapon license) just in case we needed to handle something after an intruder off the street came in and tried to attack one of our ushers. I told him no one would suspect the women in the church were carrying, to which he declined with a laugh and called me one of his “gangster daughters.” It’s true. I have been known to be just as spicy as I am sweet, and the contrast is one that used to bother me a great deal. It bothered me until I learned that God still loves His fierce, imperfect, and feisty disciples. In fact, He loves us deeply and has a perfect plan for the fierceness He’s given us. Does it mean He’s cool with us cutting off ears and going Avenger’s Endgame on people who threaten us? No. I’ve grown and matured a lot over the years, but one thing I have learned is that my loving side is for His people, but my feisty side has a purpose too. Intended target… the enemy! I just have to learn, through constant fellowship with the Holy Spirit, how not to get it twisted.
The Apostle Peter was a force to be reckoned with too. He was spirited, hot-tempered, fiercely protective, quick to confirm relationship with Jesus, but when the going got tough, he was also quick to deny Him. His revelation of who Christ is was so highly regarded by our King that He said "You are Peter and upon this Rock I will build My Church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." (Matthew 16:18)
Peter's life read like a novel. He was the Apostle of action and excitement. His story is the one that makes us grab our popcorn as we sit on the edge of our seats waiting for the good part. Peter was an integral piece of the miracle of a haul of fish that broke nets and sank boats, he walked on water, was one of the three privileged to sit with Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, and he was the one who cut off the ear of a soldier who tried to arrest Jesus. If we were the early to mid 2000's we would say Peter was the Apostle that was truly 'Bout It, Bout It.' He didn't play when it came to anything, especially his call to walk with Jesus and yet in Luke chapter 22, when Jesus needed his support the most, we see the ride or die Apostle denying even knowing Him. It was a sad state of affairs and as far as ministry goes, it certainly was not his finest hour. Yet, in John 21:15-17 we find a most intimate and riveting displaying of Peter's restoration. Let's take a peak.
15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”
16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?”
He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.”
He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”
17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?”
And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep."
What a beautiful display! Jesus asked a simple question, a question He already knew the answer to, and He asked it three times! I believe He did so to combat and overcome the three times Peter denied him. If you take your time and don't skim over it, it is a heart-string pulling, tear-jerking moment of forgiveness that would change the Apostle's life and ministry forever. Though at times hard to accept, we can wrap our minds around the concept of forgiveness, but we grapple to understand the kind of restoration that can take us from fierce protection of the Gospel to behavior that is a full-blown denial of it, all the way to Acts 22:15,16. It is in the Book of Acts that we see Peter making good on the command of Jesus to feed His lambs. In this book, he and the other Apostles are rigorously working to build the Church, teaching and defending the faith with astounding commitment and authority. Let's look at verses 14-16;
14 And believers were the more added to the Lord, multitudes both of men and women.
15 Insomuch that they brought forth the sick into the streets, and laid them on beds and couches, that at the least the shadow of Peter passing by might overshadow some of them.
16 There came also a multitude out of the cities round about unto Jerusalem, bringing sick folks, and them which were vexed with unclean spirits: and they were healed every one.
Isn't it interesting that the Bible speaks of the people hoping specifically that their sick be touched and healed by Peter's shadow? The same exact way that people were healed by the shadow of Jesus?! Peter wasn't the only Apostle working and growing the Church, and I am so sure he wasn't the only one performing miracles. Yet, the Bible makes specific mention of his shadow being a source of hope and healing through which Christ would so powerfully work through. I believe this was on purpose! It is the basis on which I felt compelled to write this article. I believe verse 15 was intentionally placed there for us! For the imperfect, feisty and fierce disciples who have gone river deep, mountain high for Jesus one minute to all out denial of Him the next. I'm not talking about hypocrisy here. We see during His restoration process that Peter's moment of denial was more a matter of fear mingled with frail humanity than it was a matter of love. Peter loved Jesus! Still, all throughout his appearance in the New Testament we find a series of Peter's extreme highs and lows. Remember the Apostle Paul in Galatians 2:11-13 having to rebuke Peter to his face for being two-faced when it came to his treatment of the Gentiles when fellow Jews were around? Peter was a trip! Yet, Jesus uses him and uses him powerfully!
I'm sure before his restoration, Peter felt uncomfortable and unworthy to be in the company of a fully resurrected Jesus. I know I've had those moments. I've had moments where my behavior has totally missed the mark and defies everything I said I believed and yet Jesus has come back to sit with me every time. I would feel so ashamed and uncomfortable until He'd ask the question; "but do you love Me?" It's the craziest thing to be loved by God like that when you are so all over the place, and you know you don't deserve it! But that's all of our story, isn't it? We may not all have tempers or carry switchblades, but we've all been that imperfect disciple before.
Are there any areas of your life where your fierceness has gotten you into trouble?
Are there things you have done that have been so off the mark that you question if you are even a disciple at all?
If so… I get it.
I want to encourage you if you haven't sat at the table and allowed the Lord to restore you because of past shame... to sit down. Let Him ask you the questions and give you the restorative answers that you need. Those answers will endow you with power and cause healing virtue to flow through you once again
To the imperfect, fierce and feisty disciple, I write... Get up. Be thou restored and let us continue to follow hard after Jesus. We can and will be restored... We've got so much work to do.
Ronda "TruFiyah" is a mother, author, blogger, event curator and music enthusiast from Cincinnati, Ohio. In short, she's a creative, but that wasn't always a welcomed title. She often struggled to figure out how a Soul-music loving, romancing-writing Christian could exist and actually bring glory to God in a real way, but through the surrendering of her gifts back to the One Who gave them to her, she discovered that God really can use all things of our growth and His glory. Check out some of her books on Amazon.
Do you have kids? No. Awkward silence. This is a recurring conversation I experience and I've finally decided to stop stressing out about it.
]]>Do you have kids?
No.
Awkward silence.
This is a recurring conversation I experience.
Most recently, I ran into an old friend from college. I was walking through my neighborhood. He saw me and pulled over to say hello.
He and his family live right down the street from my husband and I and we never realized it.
The conversation was the typical banter, "How have you been?....Crazy to run into you after all these years..." And then the question that I still feel uncomfortable responding to...
Q: Do you have kids?
A: No.
And then the awkward silence as the other person tries to figure out if they should ask, "Why not?...Did you choose not to have kids? What’s the deal?"
It can be especially hard when the question comes from someone who knew you back when, and remembers how much you looked forward to becoming a mother one day.
I used to answer, "No, unfortunately we have not been blessed with children." But that would inevitably start a whole conversation about "why" and lead to the well-intentioned but discouraging “it will happen for you” comments. And from there, the conversation turns to IVF and miscarriages and..."Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry."
So instead I've been sticking to "no." I don't know that it leads to better results and I'm sure some people have assumed I'm being standoffish, but at least I don’t have to describe my pain, in full detail, to a stranger or someone I haven’t seen in years.
With this new tactic. It always results in an awkward silence. I’ve answered their question. But not provided any detail. I politely smile back and either try to change the subject, or wait for them to change it for me. But, the awkwardness is still there, as they wonder..."Why don’t they have children"?
I don’t know if there is a perfect way to respond to the, "Do you have children?" question.
It's hard and it's personal. For the woman or the man who has experienced infertility it's hard to respond in a way that satisfies the other person’s usually innocent curiosity. But also in a way that protects their emotional well being and privacy.
Y’all know I am big on being transparent. I don’t hide the struggles I’ve had trying to conceive. But let’s be real. There are some days, some situations, where it's just not anyone’s business if I don’t want to share.
It’s my story; it’s my husband’s story. And we get to choose when and with whom we share it.
So I don’t have the perfect answer to that question, "Do you have kids?"
Instead, for those of you who ask that question and find yourself in that awkward silence, I have advice for you.
If someone doesn’t go into detail about why they don’t have children, then let it go.
Don’t pry. Don’t stare, waiting for them to explain.
Just let it go.
Let the conversation flow on to something else. I promise whoever you’re speaking to will appreciate it.
Those of us who have experienced infertility and who maybe haven't felt led to adopt or foster, those who have accepted God’s Will, while also maintaining a mustard seed of hope, do not want to be defined by our barrenness.
That’s what seems to happen in that awkward silence. When the conversation gets stuck on "Why? What happened? What have you tried? Oh, I have a friend who had trouble conceiving but they tried this and have twins now..."
Those comments are always meant in love, but they can be extremely discouraging. So unless your friend, your acquaintance, your coworker, your family member, that stranger you struck up a conversation with on the street, offers more details about their personal infertility journey....just let it go.
Instead, try something like..."So tell me, what else is going on in your life?" Ask them ANYTHING other than to explain why they don’t have children.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
As far back as I can recall, worrying has been what I did. Somehow I began to feel as if I worried enough about my health that I had it under control when in reality I had not experienced enough of life yet to know how little control I had. Until Valentine’s Day of my junior year in college when my life as I knew it was about to be thrown the fastest curveball I had ever seen.
]]>As far back as I can recall, worrying has been what I did. I worried about everything, such as, Will I like the dinner my Mom was making tonight? When would my next asthma attack come on and interrupt my daily life plans? I Have had an extremely bad case of asthma since 6 months old. Not the kind of asthma where someone pulls out an inhaler every so often, but so bad that I needed very high doses of steroids to even somewhat control it. So bad that when they tried to lower my steroid dose twice I ended up on a ventilator fighting for my life.
After many years of taking this medication that was meant to save my life, it was taking its toll on many other parts of my body. One of these parts were my bones. In my early teens osteoporosis struck & I soon forgot what it was like to live a day without physical pain. Somehow I began to feel as if I worried enough about my health that I had it under control when in reality I had not experienced enough of life yet to know how little control I had. Until Valentine’s Day of my Junior year in college when my life as I knew it was about to be thrown the fastest curveball I had ever seen.
Being able to go to college in my hometown and blessed enough to be able to live on campus for the full college experience was a dream come true. As I was picking up laundry at home, I tripped and went down so hard & fast that I broke my femur. The break was so bad I needed surgery to fix it.
Well the surgery was not a success to say the least. After seven hours of a surgery that was supposed to take 3, my parents were told I would not be able to walk again. My life had changed in that split second and the worst realization was that I had absolutely no control over this.
Wow, how could this happen? I must have asked many times. How could my life go from living out on my own in a college dorm. I thought I was going to be a psychologist and counsel children and teens that needed an ear to listen. Only one year was left until graduation. At this point I felt so terribly lost. I thought I wasn’t even close to finding my way & at the time it was the last thing on my mind.
Those next five years of my life were honestly some of my hardest. My three younger siblings all had a life of school, friends, etc. Being in bed most of the time due to multiple infections the surgery left me with was basically my life during this season. This led to lots of physical pain as well. One thing I remember that my Mom made happen during this time, was every night we would all sit down at the dinner table to eat together. We always did this growing up so my Mom was trying to give us all some normalcy. However, normal was far from what it was. Each night my siblings would sit and wait for me to get into my wheelchair with my Mom’s help and much effort. I wanted to eat together so badly, but the pain it all caused got to be too much. such high doses of pain meds were given to me & at times took only a little pain away. So many antibiotics were pumped into my veins also. Honestly, with all that strong medication, beyond all the medical facts during this time much of it is a blank. It is like I have 5 whole years of my life that barely happened, but yet they did. It was with the prompting of my brother that led my parents and I to seek a second opinion. The doctor. that we met with worked out of a very well known orthopedic hospital in New York City. He met with us and said he was convinced there was a good chance that I could walk again if I had a couple of surgeries. Many thoughts and feelings were racing through my mind. Since no doctor. mentioned this, wasn’t it a huge risk? At the same time, happiness filled my heart at the thought of walking again. For me there was one thing only I could do--take the risk and recall what the following Bible passage says.
Trust in the Lord with all your heartand lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
For me this passage means just as it says, to trust God with your whole heart and by taking this risk that is what I figured out I had to do. It also says not to lean on your own understanding. I didn’t understand why this opportunity to have these surgeries were presenting themselves now, but I don’t have to get it if I trust Christ.
I went through with the scary decision to go through with the two surgeries. First, he did a surgery to put antibiotic beads in my leg that would wipe out any infection left there & to fix my broken my femur. Weeks later, after the beads had done their job, I went in for a hip replacement. After the surgery it suddenly hit me that I really was going to walk again. The reason I knew is hard to explain. It was definitely the Holy Spirit who touched me.
As I lay in the recovery room early the next morning. The start of a new day was beginning as I slowly saw the sunrise as beams of sunlight came through beautiful big windows. I was alone almost in silence except for monitors beeping around me & due to this I decided to put on my headphones. One of my Christian playlists was what I decided to put on as a way to relax & praise God for getting me through this surgery so well. One of my now favorite songs started playing called “Ten Thousand Angels Cried”. I heard the song dozens of times. In this moment, iIt was as if I was hearing the words for the first time. A rush came over my entire body. This time it wasn’t a rush of intense physical pain like the ones I recall in my recent past years. No, this was an enormous rush of peace. That is the only way I can really describe it. It surprised me as much as the fall I took that day I broke my femur. Without warning I began to cry harder than I had in a long time. Everything was suddenly being released. I began to feel free from all the pain, loss, and loneliness that built up inside of me in those few moments. Laying there crying I felt safe--at peace. I think I was feeling God’s arms wrapped around me ever so tightly. All along I believe they were there, but I was just too numb to feel them.
As I lay there in that moment I cannot explain why or how, but I just knew that I was going to walk again. When people have asked me if I believe miracles happen, I tell them that I believe they do. You need faith to recognize they are miracles. I would not be able to walk today if God had not given me this miracle.A few weeks later I was able to take my first few steps; it felt like something surreal was happening. When you haven’t taken a step in five years, it is like you have never walked before. Once again my eyes welled with tears of true joy and happiness.Since this time in my life, I have been able to recognize so many other miracles and ways God has helped get me through hard times. Now one of the ways I cope with my worrying is by recalling all the times in the past when God has helped me through very hard circumstances. I reflect on them in my mind for a couple minutes or sometimes I’ll even write them all down. This helps me remember that God does have it all under control. I will turn to read the passage
Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?”
To me this passage means that God will always take care of us. Also it reminds me that by worrying we can’t add any time to our lives, so basically we are wasting precious minutes doing so.
As for the smaller things I worried about throughout life, that is what they have become for me -- small things. Worrying about them is just wasting my time. So I now have learned some ways to manage worrying about my health when it comes up, but I am going to be honest by saying it is something I do still struggle with. My first response is usually worrying but I now catch myself many times and use my ways to manage my thoughts. The most important thing I learned from this, is that worrying nor anything else has control as far as what happens in our lives now or down the road. The one who is in control is Christ. Just like it’s telling us in Luke 12:25, “Not one of us by worrying can add a single hour to our lives”, so let’s humble ourselves enough to realize we don’t have that control.”
By writing this I wanted to let you know that there is always hope. No matter how dark of a season of your life you are in, there is always that stream of light that can come through the big glass window, that 1st glimpse of sunlight that hits the ocean at sunrise. You just have to have faith that God has His arms around you. Having those couple surgeries I took that leap of faith and God was right there, just waiting to catch me.
Below is the link to the video for the LeAnn Rimes song called “Ten Thousand Angels Cried” . This video alone can move you to tears with it’s beautiful and ever so real pictures portraying God’s love for us all. The lyrics also tell us how hard it must have been for God to watch His only Son die so that all of us will have eternal life with Him. There is not much more hope He can give us than THIS!!!
by Melissa Winters
Melissa is a member of the loved and blessed ladies community who strives to deepen her knowledge & faith in Jesus Christ daily. As a warrior, she has battled with Chronic illness & its many effects her entire life. On her own or enjoying the company of family & good friends, she enjoys writing, music, reading, and participating on retreat teams and Bible studies. A few of her loves in life are the ocean (LBI New Jersey being a favorite), laughing, & her 8 nieces and nephews.
For a few years now I've been beating myself up watching other small business owners and content creators post hilarious engaging videos of themselves to the likes of thousands of followers. But I’ve realized that’s not my ministry…
]]>I'm not the funny content girl.
I'm the wear my heart on my sleeve, heart for encouraging others kinda girl.
It's actually taken me a few years to realize this.
I love to laugh…like eyes bulge so much my contacts pop out, awkward open mouth, full body movement, cheeks start to hurt, holding my belly kind of laugh.
I love to share content that makes me laugh until I cry. The LOL emoji is literally an everyday occurrence for me, not just something I throw in the middle of every sentence.
So, for a few years now I've been beating myself up watching other small business owners and content creators post hilarious engaging videos of themselves to the likes of thousands of followers.
I tried I started a TikTok account.
I've started and stopped trying to create a funny IG Reel that would go viral and bring attention to my business.
But I've realized that's not my ministry.
I love to laugh but my jokes are the corny nerdy kind that don't translate well into a viral video.
When I realized this, my first thought was fear.
How am I going to attract more attention if I can't afford to spend thousands of dollars on paid advertising and I can't create a viral video to save my life?
And then I heard a little voice whisper…
“You are not the funny content girl. You're the she lifts my spirit girl. So just keep doing what you're doing and those who need what you provide will find you.”
Thank You Holy Spirit for reminding me today that who I am is enough.
Enough to fulfill Your purpose for my life
And that will always be enough for me.
If you've struggled with comparison and thinking that because you don't do things the same way as others you can never be successful, I want you to know that that is a lie. What goes viral what attracts customers to your business, readers to your blog or listeners to your podcast is genuineness.
For some it’s genuine funniness.
For me it’s genuine care.
What is it for you?
Be bold. Be you. Don't try to imitate anyone else.
Sometimes you have to stop trying to be someone else and embrace who you are.
Show the world your heart through what you do and let Him take care of the rest.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
I look forward to the seasons and opportunities of offering hospitality. And because I love Jesus and His commands, I want everything I do to reflect that. I also encourage you to practice hospitality that brings glory to the Lord. I encourage you to love well the people that God has placed in your life. I encourage you to be hospitable to yourself.
]]>“God showcases His glory through us as we welcome one another.” Katie Deckert, Risen Motherhood
It is the time of year again that the days become shorter, the weather becomes colder, and homes are cozier. The leaves change into beautiful colors, warm dishes prepared for mealtimes, and fall clothes added to wardrobes. Gatherings of family and friends are looked forward to during this season and the holidays. Homes are decluttered, cleaned, polished, and ready to host a variety of loved ones. The autumntime is my favorite season because of all these things. I always look forward to visiting my parents during the fall. Even though they do not live far from me, my mom makes a point to make me feel welcomed and at home. There are always candles lit, the living areas perfectly decorated, and many times some warm food or beverage ready. My mom is the perfect example of a hostess, the picture of hospitality. I love learning from my mom about how to be a hostess and hospitable in return. Now that I am a grown woman, wife to my husband, have my own home, and my own family--I look forward to the seasons and opportunities of offering hospitality. And because I love Jesus and His commands, I want everything I do to reflect that. I also encourage you to practice hospitality that brings glory to the Lord. I encourage you to love well the people that God has placed in your life. I encourage you to be hospitable to yourself.
What is Biblical Hospitality?
But how do I do that, you may ask. When learning about hospitality, it is vital to understand what it means, specifically through the lens of the Bible. Hospitality's definition is "friendly reception and treatment of guests or strangers" and "the quality or disposition of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way." Friendly. Warm. Sounds cozy. But I want to understand what this means on a practical level as a Christian woman. Upon research, I found a fabulous article with the perfect definition of biblical hospitality.
The welcoming and fellowshipping with believers and non-believers out of truth and love for Jesus Christ so that they may see Christ more clearly. The key point of this definition is the emphasis on displaying Christ to those that we welcome into our homes.—John Ravan, Doctrine and Devotion
I just love that! The whole point of hospitality as believers and Christian women is to display Christ! Hospitality is a powerful way to demonstrate the love of Christ to others. Whether it be shown by inviting others into your home, building a relationship with someone, or performing a need for another, the opportunities are endless. Hospitality is for all people and ages. As children of God, commanded to love others and lead others to Christ, I believe we have all received a calling to live out biblical hospitality. Romans 15:7 says, “therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” Let's look at some other scriptures about it as well. After all, God's word is the instruction manual for how we should live the lives He has given us, right? Romans 12: 9-13 says,
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit; serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and see to show hospitality.
Let love be genuine, love one another, contribute to the needs of the saints, show hospitality. I love that. I also want to look at what 1 Peter 4: 8-10 says,
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another; as good stewards of God's varied grace.
Love one another, show hospitality; without grumbling, serve one another with the gifts that God has given you. These are such specific instructions to live by and a powerful responsibility that God has given us! However, we should not only show hospitality to others; but also to ourselves and Christ.
Making Room in My Heart and Home for Jesus
Before we show hospitality to ourselves and others, we must first make sure that we allow Christ into our lives. Ask yourself, how is my relationship with God? Am I meeting with Him daily? Am I asking Him to come into my day and be with me in everything I do? Am I seeking to know Him more? If Christ is not the foundation of our lives, nothing else we do will matter. If the goal of hospitality is so that others may know Jesus through us, I sure hope that we know Him on a personal level because knowing Him is worth it! He is so gracious to His children! He is the One from whom all good things come!
“But God is a hospitable God, and He has lavished us with that hospitality. Out of the abundance we have received, we can pour out.”—Katie Deckert, Risen Motherhood
Continue to ask yourself as well, is my home one that glorifies God? Do I speak about Him and praise Him in front of my family? Do I pray to the Lord in front of my family and encourage them to seek Him as well? Is my home a place where worshipping Christ takes place? When we purpose to make our homes and hearts places where Christ may enter, we will be able to pour out His love so much more to others. Is my home a place where people can come and hear about Jesus and draw closer to Him? If someone came over to my house, would they be able to tell that it is a house that serves the Lord? However, that does not mean that the whole house needs to have all the cute signs and Christian decor displayed, but rather how will someone feel when they walk through my door? Will they be able to sense the presence of God in my house?
I recently became married to my sweet husband, the man that I prayed for so long. My husband and I wanted our wedding week to be one that glorified the Lord and praised Him for this blessing of entering a new life together. During the week of the wedding, one of my dearest childhood friends stayed with me. I will never forget something she said to me after the wedding. She said, "Amy, I felt God in your home; I just knew that He was there with us." I pray that this will be the theme of my home for the rest of my life; that each person will experience Jesus and know Him more when they come and leave my house.
An Open Door for Family and Friends
“When we believe in Christ, something changes in us: our eyes see the needs of others, our hearts begin to care as God cares, and our homes become places of ministry.”—Kelli B. Trujillo, Today’s Christian Woman
I love being able to have people over to my house and playing hostess. My mom has always loved entertaining and hosting, so I think that is where my interest started. I always want my home to be available to people for whatever their needs might be. Whether that is fellowship, a place of escape, eating dinner for the evening, or anything else. I want my house to be a place of peace for others, especially those who live with me. In this season of life, it is only my husband and I that live in the house. However, I want these things for him as well. I desire both of our homes to be a place of peace, where he can be cared for, rest, and experience the Lord working in his life. Even though we both live in the house and take care of it, I believe it is my responsibility to make sure that it operates effectively for my family. If I do not meet the needs of my family first; I am not a faithful steward of what God has given me.
“Having guests and visitors, if we do it right, isn’t an imposition because we aren’t meant to rearrange our lives for our guests—we’re meant to invite guests to enter into our sometimes-messy lives. It’s this forging of relationships that transforms entertaining into hospitality.”—Lauren F. Winner, Today’s Christian Woman
On the practical side of things, it is helpful to ask yourself if your home is a place where others want to come? Is your home tidy and inviting, or a complete disaster? Trust me; I have had those days when I do not want anyone to see my house. But if you can keep the entertaining areas tidier and leave the private rooms to clean for another time--it may make cleaning and preparation more manageable for having others over. Honestly, I love clean, organized, and decorated interiors--but I also love when my house looks like a complete disaster at the end of the day. It reminds me that life has happened inside the house. I love when the kitchen is piled full of dishes; it reminds me that my husband and I have been cooking together and testing out new recipes. I love it when my nieces and nephews come over to the house. My sweet niece tells me every time, though, "Auntie Ame, why do you not have any toys over here?" I should probably remedy that before the next time she comes over.
Regardless of what your house looks like, who comes over, or what is happening, there are so many opportunities to bring glory to the Lord. Whether they host celebrations, provide comfort, witness hurt, and suffering or experience prayers answered, each moment can bring glory to God! I pray that my heart and home will always be open for any way God wants to work. I pray the same for you!
“Hospitality isn’t a performance. It’s a Christian grace that involves the whole family.” Rosaria Butterfield, Desiring God
Being Hospitable to Myself
Women tend to be very busy. Not only are we working, running households, raising children, being wives, and doing ministry for the Lord, but we are also trying to take care of ourselves. Self-care often goes by the wayside, in my opinion, because we want to ensure that every other task becomes accomplished first. But if we are not seeking rest, spiritual restoration, and caring for our bodies, we will not be hospitable to anyone. We need to learn to practice hospitality with ourselves! This concept might look different to every woman, but here are some questions to consider. At the end of the day; have I given it my all? What are things that can wait until tomorrow? I am not implying that we should procrastinate, but if you are anything like me, my to-do list is long, and I can always find something else to do. By asking what can wait until tomorrow, it allows us to be done for the day and have permission to enter rest. It is also important that we be kind to ourselves. Being kind to myself is something that I am still learning to do, though. I am my worst critic; I am constantly evaluating myself and my level of performance. Sometimes I know that is not healthy; I need to learn to be kinder and speak truth and life over myself. I encourage you to do the same! After all, we are daughters of the most High, cherished, and beloved.
Am I taking care of my body the way that God desires? Am I seeking physical rest, nutrition, exercise, time with the Lord, and being out in nature? God has given us one body; we should cherish it and treat it with care! It is so easy for me to feel overwhelmed by tasks, responsibilities, and life, so I must learn to constantly turn those feelings over to the Lord and not let physical stress tear down my body. If hospitality to yourself is something that you struggle with, ask these questions. What are steps that I need to take to be kinder to myself? What are steps that I need to take to take care of myself better? What are steps that I need to take to allow restoration to happen? And ask these questions with the Lord! Only He can make change happen in our hearts and make us more loving, even to ourselves.
In closing, during these seasons of excitement and preparation, I hope that we will continue to cultivate hospitality with the Lord and others in our lives. I hope you have been challenged and encouraged by this letter to you. I hope that you can learn from my stories and know that you are not alone! As you learn more about increasing or being more intentional about hospitality, here are some final things to consider.
Have I made room for Jesus to come into my heart and rule in my life? If not, what is keeping me from doing so? What are idols that are holding me back from Jesus?
Ask God to continue to make you more loving, welcoming, and hospitable towards others. Pray for opportunities to show His love to others.
Ask God to continue to work in your own life. Ask that you will see Him working in your life. Ask Him for peace, rest, and kindness for yourself.
Is Christmas a hard time of year for you? If you or someone you love is grieving during this season, here are some ideas to celebrate your loved one and bring some joy to your Christmas celebration, even in times of sorrow.
]]>A few years ago I shared a post to encourage you if you are grieving at Christmas.
I wrote it at a time when I was grieving the loss of our dog, Emjay. Yes, he was a dog, but because we don’t have children and Emjay had been our fur child for 15 years, it was a time of deep grief for my husband and I.
Who could have imagined that just a few years later, so many of us would be coping with the grief of losing so many friends, family members and fellow human beings to a worldwide pandemic.
So this year, I want to encourage you to let yourself grieve.
Many of us try to be “strong” and hold ourselves together in front of others.
But I want to suggest that the point of gathering with family and friends during the holiday season is not to be fake and wear a mask and pretend like it isn’t hard, like you don’t miss your loved one.
The Bible says God is the God of all comfort, “who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” (2Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV)
Whether you are in need of comfort or you are spending the holidays with someone else who is grieving, we are meant to comfort one another.
When someone else is grieving, at Christmas or any other time of the year, it is hard to figure out exactly what to say.
We don’t want to say the wrong thing that could be insensitive or cause them more pain.
But from my personal experience it’s not always about what you say, the words you use, sometimes it’s just about acknowledging someone’s pain.
Simply saying “This must be a hard season for you. Please know that I don’t want you to feel like you have to worry about being a great host or putting on an ‘everything is alright’ mask for me. I am just grateful to share this time with you and if you want to talk, cry or just sit and enjoy each others company without talking about it - whatever you need is fine with me.”
Obviously I’m not trying to give you a script, but just an example of how you can acknowledge someone’s situation without forcing them to talk about it.
Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace. But let us be comforters to them with the same comfort we receive from God ourselves.
God is patient with us. He listens. He isn’t scared of our tears. He whispers love through His Word and He is faithful to abide with us until our joy is restored.
What if you’re the person who needs comfort?
What if you feel like everyone is depending on you to host or attend the holiday festivities, but you just aren’t up to it this year?
I want to encourage you to release yourself from everyone else’s expectations.
If you usually host the Christmas dinner and just aren’t up to it, it’s okay to say so.
The family and friends who usually attend know what you have been through and I’m pretty sure they will be understanding if you need to ask for their support this year.
Ask someone else to host. Or open your home, but ask others to do all the cooking this year.
It’s okay to set boundaries around what you can emotionally handle. These people love you right? So they should understand if you share what you’re going through and tell them that this year you want to do things a little differently.
Grief is not something you can pause and then come back to after Christmas or New Years.
Trying to stuff down or hide what you feel isn’t healthy or fair to you. So set boundaries, ask others for help and plan ahead so that there is enough time for others to jump in and fill the “holiday roles” that you or your loved one won’t be taking on this year.
Give yourself permission to grieve. Give yourself permission to seek help. Give yourself permission to slow down and rest and spend the holidays renewing your spirit without the stress and pressure of keeping up appearances.
Giving yourself permission to grieve does not mean you can’t celebrate at the same time.
You can be sad and miss your loved one but also enjoy and celebrate the family and friends that are still here.
Have you ever smiled and cried at the same time?
I have. And they weren’t tears of joy. They were tears of sadness and a smile of gratefulness.
This year, there will be tears of sadness for my family and others who have lost people in the last few years. But I will also smile because I was blessed by those people and I am blessed to still have family and friends to gather with.
In that post I mentioned earlier, there is a timeless list of great ideas for ways to celebrate and remember loved ones at family gatherings during the Christmas season. I hope you’ll check it out and use one of the ideas to encourage yourself or someone who is grieving this year.
Throughout my life I’ve experienced seasons when I feel emotionally strong and can handle anything and other seasons when I cry or freak out if the wind blows my bangs out of place…
]]>Stop stuffing down your emotions, there’s no more room.
As usual, I’m preaching to myself, but my hope is that this helps you too!
I recently shared about how I’d been scared to write lately because I was afraid of the emotions that might come out.
Throughout my life I’ve experienced seasons when I feel emotionally strong and can handle anything and other seasons when I cry or freak out if the wind blows my bangs out of place.
Sometimes I just have a higher tolerance for dealing with the stuff that life throws my way. Can you relate?
As I’ve matured as a Christian woman I’ve realized that for me personally, my ability to handle adversity, stress, grief and let’s be honest….this crazy world and all the meanness in it….has to do with how much room for God’s peace, love and joy I have in my mind.
I’m focusing on my mind here because it’s the tool that God’s given me to choose how to respond. My heart knows what to do, but sometimes my mind makes itself up without enough thought and retaliates in situations where it should forgive. My mind shuts down instead of staying open. It obsesses over hurt instead of choosing love.
My heart and mind work better together when my mind has room to consider, to seek guidance and welcome the leading of the Holy Spirit.
But when it’s stuffed full of past hurts, frustrations, disappointments, worry and fear, there isn’t room for anything else.
I’ve learned there is a difference between stuffing down my emotions and actually letting things go.
When you let go and let God, do you really let go? Or do you actually just tell God about it and wait for Him to respond or retaliate on your behalf?
I wanna suggest that if you’re waiting on Him to act on something you “let go” then you haven’t let it go. You know how I know? Because that’s a pattern I have.
I tend to stuff down my feelings and responses in situations when I’m angry or hurt. The Bible tells us to be slow to anger (James 1:19-20) and I’ve misinterpreted that to mean when you get angry hold it in.
There’s a nuance there…be slow to anger, don’t lash out at others, respond with love to those who hurt you, but you have to release that anger to God. Not at God, but to God.
Whether it’s anger or disappointment or stress or worry or fear or whatever, stuffing your emotions down isn’t healthy. Eventually there’s no more room to stuff and no matter what your heart wants, your mind will release all that emotion.
It might come out in a torrent of unexplainable tears or rage disproportionate to your current situation. But however it comes, it means that you’ve been holding onto all that stuff for way too long.
But our Father who loves us tells us to give it all to Him. To fully release our cares, our anger, our grief, our everything to Him because He is strong enough to handle it We can let it go FULLY knowing that He will take care of it.
I can tell when I’m stuffing things down when I am holding my emotions in my body. I don’t know how to explain it exactly but I can feel it. In the moment or even days later, there is a heaviness in my heart, mind and physical body. I even forget sometimes what the thing was I stuffed down a few days earlier but I still feel it.
So here’s what I’ve started to do and I hope it helps you too.
Release it in the moment.
Talk to God in the moment.
Say “Father, right now I’m feeling ______ and I don’t want to stuff this down. I am releasing it to you. I won’t hold onto it, I trust You with it. I let go and choose to stop this emotion from having any control over my life. Instead I choose to live in this moment by the fruit of Your Spirit and move forward in peace, love and joy.”
You might have to say this prayer more than once. Sometimes I have to say it a few times before I really mean it.
But it works for me. Because He is always faithful when I seek to live by His Spirit and not by my feelings.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Have you felt the tug from the Holy Spirit to write? Maybe it’s some sort of Christian devotional or book or maybe it’s a novel or children’s book or even a movie or a play….whatever it is, don’t hold back. Don’t let the fear of other’s judgement hold you back. Don’t let the fear of being “not good enough” hold you back.
]]>I recently shared with Maeglin, our Community Manager (and so much more), here at loved+blessed, that I had been experiencing a sort of writer’s block for a few months.
I had been writing, but it hadn’t been flowing like it usually does. It had felt more like a chore than something I was doing from the depths of my soul. That’s how writing usually feels for me, like I’m pouring my heart onto a page.
If you regularly read my blog posts or have read the keepsake devotional cards that we include in each box of encouragement, you know I write with what some would call “reckless abandon”. Which basically means that if a bunch of misplaced commas, grammatical errors or run-on sentences offend you, you’ll definitely be triggered.
That’s actually something I had to get over as a writer. I never got the highest grades in school when it came to grammar and the format of my writing, but I’ve realized that’s because I write how I talk. And although I do think learning how to write and spell (that’s a whole ‘nother conversation…thank you spell check inventor) are important, I got to a point where I had to get over myself.
I realized that God had given me lots of stuff to say. Lot’s of “word hugs” to encourage you. But if I held back because I was worried about the criticism I’d receive for grammatical mistakes, those messages would never get out. They would just be locked up inside my heart.
So I had to shake off the comments I would get correcting my grammar in a post (yep, I have received messages from people pointing out edits I should make) and focus on what matters to me most - expressing what I feel the Holy Spirit has given me to say. I write how I speak and I write how I pray and I’m okay with that. I don’t edit myself when I pray. There are lots of run-on sentences and dangling participles that would make any English teacher cringe, but I’m confident that God would give me a high grade because I’m following His direction, fulfilling the assignment He has given me.
In the last few months, I’ve actually found it hard to write. Something has been holding me back. I thought my writers’ block was because I didn’t have anything to write, but I’ve realized that that’s not what it was.
I’ve been scared to write. I was scared to write because of what might come out.
As I said, writing for me has always been like pouring my heart onto a page. My house is full of lots of my old diaries, journals full of my poetry and random papers with my thoughts scribbled down.
I think in some ways, writing was my therapy when I was a child and has continued to be the way I release my emotions.
But somewhere in the last year I started to stuff those emotions down again. There was so much going on that I felt like I just had to push through and I think subconsciously I stopped fully opening myself up when I wrote because I was scared that the depth of the emotions that would come out wouldn’t be controllable. That if let them out I would loose control. If I let them out I would spiral into negative thoughts.
I’m sharing this for a few reasons.
It is cathartic for me to write these things out loud. When I admit them publicly I feel empowered and unashamed.
It’s a testimony to God’s faithfulness in my life. Writing and praying are intertwined for me and as I’m typing this today, God has given me a vision to take my writing to another level (more on that later…stay tuned) and I know this revelation is part of the journey He has put me on so that I am able to fully bring that vision to fruition without fear.
I hope to encourage you. Have you felt the tug from the Holy Spirit to write? Maybe it’s some sort of Christian devotional or book or maybe it’s a novel or children’s book or even a movie or a play….whatever it is, don’t hold back. Don’t let the fear of other’s judgement hold you back. Don’t let the fear of being “not good enough” hold you back. Just write what is on your heart and trust that God will get it to the people He intends to read it.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Sometimes we don’t get the reaction we hope for from the people we most want to be proud of us. Most of the time it’s not intentional. They are just wrapped up in their own world, thoughts and perspectives and don’t realize you are longing for their approval or attention. Don’t let them steal your joy.
]]>Sometimes we don’t get the reaction we hope for from the people we most want to be proud of us.
Most of the time it’s not intentional. They are just wrapped up in their own world, thoughts and perspectives and don’t realize you are longing for their approval or attention.
Now before y’all start thinking that I am saying that we should long for the approval of others….that’s not what I’m saying.
The only approval that matters is God’s.
But let’s be honest and not pretend that it’s not hard when we don’t get the reaction we want from the people we love and care about.
I recently shared some news I am excited about with someone and their response was basically a question about if all the work it took to accomplish it was worth it. I immediately felt deflated.
In that moment, my joy started to slip away. Before reacting, I took a moment to think about what I was feeling and realized that I was expecting a celebratory high five. I thought they would celebrate with me. I don’t think their reaction was intentionally hurtful. It may have even come from a place of concern over how hard I have been working. But whatever their intention, the impact on me was discouragement.
I thought…if this person who I love and respect isn’t excited about this thing I’ve been working on so long, then no one else will be excited either…have I been wasting my time?
But that’s the funny thing about joy. If you are in tune with your feelings and can examine them in the moment, you can stop that joy from leaking out.
As I felt my countenance changing, my mood deflating, my joy slipping away, I stopped and reminded myself that although it’s human and completely normal to desire the approval of others, their approval isn’t why I do what I do. This thing I’m excited about is the result of me following the guidance of the Holy Spirit in my life. It is the result of my obedience. It is the result of my perseverance in the face of obstacles. And in that moment I was reminded that it is the result of my personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
My personal relationship. Something I had sat with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit over a long period of time and prayed about. Something I felt was my personal assignment to do. These thoughts ran through my head as I simultaneously stood across from someone with a look of disapproval on their face.
I saw them, but I felt God.
I felt God reminding me that He was proud of me.
I felt the Holy Spirit giving me peace and self-control to not react to this person in a way that would cause damage to our friendship.
I felt Jesus reminding me to forgive, have compassion and show grace, because I know they love me and hadn’t meant their reaction to cause me pain.
Here’s what I already knew, but learned all over again….
You can’t control how other people react. Don’t let your expectations of others steal your joy.
So you know what I did?
I celebrate anyway. I high fived myself. 🙏🏽 😜 I slapped my hands together and had a little celebratory praise party with God.
I thanked Him for what He had allowed me to accomplish. I praised Him for trusting me with the vision to see it through. I prayed in advance for the ripple effect it would have, the positive impact on the lives of others I may never meet. And I prayed for that friend, that whatever situations were going on in their life, whatever was going on in their mind that did not allow them to celebrate with me, would be lifted. I thanked God for helping me choose joy in that moment and prayed that joy would be renewed in my friends life too.
Choosing joy isn’t always easy. But it is possible. You can stop your joy from slipping away. You can steal it back when a person, situation or the enemy tries to steal it from you. But we must be alert and on guard and know who we are in Christ and whom we belong to.
I pray that you learn how to be joyFULL all all times, live by the Spirit and know that even when others don’t see your value, your contribution - or just don’t see you - your Heavenly Father see’s you and is sending you a high five from Heaven.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
What happened to the unity we felt after September 11th? It felt like we were all brothers and sisters who cared about each other, no matter our differences. That sense of unity I was able to experience for a few weeks is something that’s been on my mind a lot in the last two years as we’ve become more and more disconnected as a country and division seems to be becoming an acceptable norm.
]]>Never forget.
That’s the phrase that you’ll see all over the Internet today.
It’s been 20 years since 9/11.
Never forget.
It’s a phrase I agree with. We must never forget the lives lost on September 11th, 2001. But what I also don’t want to forget is how I felt as an American in the days and weeks following the attack.
A belonging that I had never experienced before. As a black person, a woman and a Christian, I’ve often felt out of place in the workplace, in social settings, in school and while going about the normal activities of life. But in the days following the tragedy of September 11th, I felt for the first time like I was being looked at as just an American. It felt like we were all brothers and sisters who cared about each other, no matter our differences.
I know not all Americans felt this way. 9/11 inflamed racism towards American Muslims and Americans of Arab descent. So I won’t pretend that there weren’t still those of us who felt othered, shunned and left out.
But that sense of unity I was able to experience for a few weeks is something that’s been on my mind a lot in the last two years as we’ve become more and more disconnected as a country and division seems to be becoming an acceptable norm.
I remember standing in line to buy an American flag. Some of you may have bought lots of flags in your life or grew up with one flying outside your home, but that’s not my story. I was 26 years old when I felt such a sense of unity and love of country that I made a point to find a store and stand in a long line of people who all wanted to display their solidarity with the rest of the country. I remember standing in a diverse line of people. People of different races, ages, socio-economic backgrounds, religious beliefs and physical abilities, all with a common purpose. People who normally would have passed each other on the street or in the grocery store without saying a word were saying hello, asking how each other were doing and if they had any personal connection to any of the victims or first responders. Strangers were listening to each other’s stories and sharing their own.
Buying a flag to put on my car as I drove around Los Angeles in the weeks after the attack of September 11th was not a heroic act. This story isn’t about that. It’s about the sense of unity, acceptance and love that I saw and still get goosebumps when I think about today. Did you experience it? For me that attack caused me to realize how privileged I have been to be born into a generation that had never experienced war on its own soil. Twenty-six year old Jamila took for granted that wars were fought off in far away lands. My sense of security and safety had been rocked to the core while at the same time my patriotism had been kindled as I saw us come together to comfort, protect and support each other.
I wish that unity hadn’t faded away. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but as the months and years went by, most of us, especially those of us who didn’t loose anyone we knew on that day, lost that sense that being an American binds us in a special way.
So today as I remember those who lost their lives on September 11th; those in the towers, on the ground, in the planes and while trying to rescue others; as I remember the first responders; those who cleaned up and have helped rebuild…as I remember those who on behalf of the rest of us volunteered or were sent to battlefields in the war on terror and to those who gave their lives in service trying to right the wrong of that day - I also pray that we would remember those feelings of unity, those days and weeks where we looked past all the things that make us different from one another and focused on the one thing that makes us all the same.
Like a big dysfunctional family that has aunts and uncles and cousins that no one can stand, we look past that stuff and come together when our family is in trouble or experiencing suffering, heartache or pain. Our country, our American family is in trouble. We’ve let the dysfunction get out of control and I fear we might be at a point where even a horrible event, like what happened 20 years ago today, might not be able to bring back our sense of unity.
If you’re new to our blog, let me clarify that this is not a political post. I don’t believe God has a political party. Nothing I am saying is coming from a political opinion, it’s coming from the ache in my heart that I feel when I see so much divisiveness and hostility in our country. I believe we can love and respect each other even when we don’t agree.
The purpose of this post is to just ask you to pray with me, that today would not only be a day of remembrance about what happened, but also be a day of reflection for each one of us on how we can put aside our differences respect love and care for one another as an American family. The way we did in the days after that terrible tragic attack.
#neverforget September 11th, 2001. Never forget we are all Americans. Never forget we can choose unity. Never forget to show others love. Start today by praying for someone you can’t stand. Yep, I said it…I know as Christians we are supposed to love everyone, but let’s be real, I’m sure you can think of at least one person you can’t stand…Humble yourself before the Lord and lift them up to our Father today. Let’s practice what we preach.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Sometimes I think we as Christians can make things seem more complicated than God intends them to be. When I first accepted Jesus Christ, I thought that hearing His voice was something new that I had to figure out. Yes, I did have to learn how to best position myself to hear Him, I’ll explain that later, but eventually I realized that I had been hearing Him my whole life.
]]>Before you begin reading this, I want to make a few things clear.
This is my personal experience. This is a part of my testimony. It is my truth, but it in no way is meant to be a comprehensive dissertation on how to discern the voice of God.
To discern simply means to recognize.
Sometimes I think we as Christians can make things seem more complicated than God intends them to be. When I first accepted Jesus Christ, I thought that hearing His voice was something new that I had to figure out. Yes, I did have to learn how to best position myself to hear Him, I’ll explain that later, but eventually I realized that I had been hearing Him my whole life. I had been hearing Him, but I didn’t recognize it was Him. I don’t believe that God just starts talking to you when you accept Him. I think He’s talking to everyone all the time. He is offering salvation. He is offering love, mercy, forgiveness. But not everyone recognizes it is Him.
Looking back on my life, there were so many times as a child, a teenager and even a young adult when He was speaking to me, leading me, guiding me and correcting me. Somewhere deep down I knew it, I heard Him, I felt it, but I didn’t respond. I was a Christian when asked to check a box on a form, but I didn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus. I went to Church, I said my grace when I ate, but Monday through Saturday He didn’t really cross my mind. I used to be ashamed to admit that, but that’s my story and part of what makes my daily relationship with Him now so precious to me.
In my 20s there was a period of time when I felt lost and confused. I got laid off in the midst of the dot com bubble burst (if you don’t know what I’m talking about thanks for making me feel old, LOL, google it), I had broken up with a boyfriend that I thought might be the one (thank goodness he wasn’t) , I had moved back in with my parents so I could start a handbag business and September 11th happened and changed my sense of security and worldview forever. Basically in the span of about 2-3 years a lot happened in my life that caused me to question what I believed.
It was during this time that for some reason, #thankyouholyspirit I picked up my Bible.
I felt drawn in a way that I still can’t completely explain to read this book that I had opened every Sunday and read a few lines out of but had never read cover to cover. I grew up in a denomination that focuses more on corporate worship than personal worship. What I mean is that in my experience we did everything as a group. On Sundays we all read from a book of pre-written prayers, I didn’t carry my Bible to church, because the scriptures were written inside the program and there seemed to me to be more emphasis on participation in Bible studies and Sunday School at church vs during the week at home. Now let me interject here that I say seemed to me because this isn’t what the church taught, it was just how I perceived it. And I share all of this not because there is anything wrong with corporate worship, but because I never took it upon myself to develop my own relationship with God.
So when I found myself in my lost 20s season, questioning what I believed vs what I had just gone along with because it’s how I was raised, I decided to start by going to the source. Not the pastor or priest or my Sunday school teacher or even my parents. I went to the Bible, the Word of God.
And there began my journey towards being able to recognize His voice.
The more I read, the more I realized that I had heard His Words being whispered to me at so many different times and seasons in my life, but I just didn’t recognize that it was Him. I saw myself and my family and my friends and the world from a new perspective and I saw God in all of it.
For me, discerning His voice began with understanding how He speaks and I could only do that by getting in position to listen.
It started with reading His Word. In my mid 20s was the first time I had read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation.
I was surprised, shocked and encouraged by what I read. There was so much I didn’t understand and if I’m honest, so much I was like…”wait, what?” But I had such a hunger for His Words and my desire could only be satisfied by continuing to read.
It’s not that I hadn’t read some of it before. I had read certain books and chapters, but this time was so different. I was in a different position. They weren’t assignments from a Sunday school class or confirmation class. I wasn’t listening to a Bible story being read to me by a priest or my parents. I had decided for myself that I wanted to understand this “religion” I said I was a part of. I wanted to be able to explain and defend what I believed. I was in a position of surrender, where I was finally ready to admit I wasn’t in control of my life and that someone else was.
For me that season was the foundation for the believer I am today. 20 years later and I am still reading and learning about the voice of God. I’m still discovering new ways He is speaking to me, leading me and correcting me. But now I’m always listening for Him, looking for Him, seeking His wisdom. He’s my first thought, instead of the person I go to after I’ve tried everything else.
I see Him in everything. I hear Him in the words that come out of my mouth, in what I write, in how I encourage, in how I forgive, in what I design. I remain daily surrendered to Him always listening.
Okay, get ready for a random Jamila thought….
My husband calls me “google fingers.”
I’m that girl who grabs her phone multiple times a day to google random stuff.
I often think about before the internet when the best source we had was a set of encyclopedias that were basically outdated as soon as they were printed. And now, most of us carry around a device in our pockets that allows us to access more information than our brains can even handle. (Not all of it is accurate….but that’s another conversation.)
And you know how your phone or your smart speaker can silently sit right next to you seemingly off and you can say “Hey Siri” or “Alexa” and ask a question and get an answer?
That makes me think of God.
He is the ultimate well of wisdom. He is all-knowing. Omniscient. And all of His knowledge is accurate and true. We just have to say “Hey Lord” and He’s listening, faithful to respond to our questions and prayers. His response is always immediate. You might be saying, well, no it’s not….but I challenge you in that. He always responds, but. it might not be the response we want or expect. If I ask for wisdom in a situation, I’ve found that I always receive it…..but the immediate response might be “wait on Me” or “keep doing what you’re doing until I reveal you should change direction.” That’s what I mean by immediate. In my personal experience, God always responds, but what I sometimes perceive as “no answer” is the answer.
I talk to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit all day long.
Like literally. I “talk to myself” but often what I’m actually doing is talking out loud to God. I talk to Him when I wake up, my first words most mornings are “Good morning Lord.” I talk to Him as I sit and spend quiet time with Him before I start my day. I talk to Him as I work, praying for wisdom on how to prioritize what He’s given me to do, I talk to Him while I drive, praying for others as I listen to the radio new in my car. I talk to Him when I’m standing in a long line, asking for patience. I talk to Him as I say long and short prayers for ladies in our community throughout the day. I talk to Him as my day winds down, asking Him to relieve any anxiety over what I didn’t get done. I talk to Him when I sit across from my husband at dinner and ask Him what to say to lift his spirits and be a good helpmeet. I talk to Him before I go to bed and thank Him for hanging out with me throughout the day.
That’s a lot of talking, but just as much as I talk, I’ve learned I have to listen.
Even though I think I’m pretty good at discerning the voice of God in my life, I continually have to surrender my ears to listen. Because sometimes I hear Him loud and clear, but I don’t like what He’s saying.
Can you relate?
In this season of my life I can tell the difference between the enemy’s voice and the voice of God. I can tell the difference between my human fleshly desire inner voice and the voice of the Holy Spirit within me.
What I struggle with is obeying His voice.
When I say struggle, it’s not every day or with every thing. But there are still times when I know exactly what He’s telling me to do and I don’t want to do it, so I avoid it, I say I’m still waiting on Him, but I’m not. I know His answer and I just don’t like it. I hear Him, but I tell Him, hold on lemme try this first.
But I have no excuse. I am not a horse or mule without understanding. In most circumstances He’s given me access to the wisdom I need for the step that I’m on. He’s given me enough wisdom to trust Him to take the next step or to turn in the direction where He is leading me to go. Don’t take that so literally that you think you always have to be moving. Sometimes His next step for me has been sitting down and being content with where I’m at for a while.
I’m just grateful I’ve reached a place in my life where I’m not asking “Is that You Lord?”
I know it’s Him. Now the question is how will I respond.
I hear you Lord, I feel You Father. I thank You for sharing with me the wisdom I need when You know that I need it. I pray You would give me patience when I seek more wisdom that my situation calls for. Please help me to trust You more and more every day. Thank You for giving me ears to hear and eyes to see You at work in this world. It is a privilege to be your daughter and be a part of Your flock. May I always hear Your voice and know You and follow You. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Obedience brings peaces? Those are words I never imagined I would say. I used to get anxious when someone would use the word obey or obedience. It had an extremely negative connotation in my mind. It was associated with losing control, being taken advantage of, and not being respected as an individual. But thankfully, as I matured, I began to understand obedience from a different perspective.
]]>Those are words I never imagined I would say.
I used to get anxious when someone would use the word obey or obedience. It had an extremely negative connotation in my mind. It was associated with losing control, being taken advantage of, and not being respected as an individual. But thankfully, as I matured, I began to understand obedience from a different perspective.
I rejected the concept of submission to someone else's authority that was tangled up with reminders of slavery and overtones of misogyny. (That might sound dramatic, but when I think about why that word bothered me so much, that’s the honest truth.)
I have accepted the Biblical concept of obedience, which is to submit and surrender to God and His Word because I trust Him and know His plan for me is perfect.
Obedience can be a struggle when you are not confident in the person you are submitting and surrendering to. But we're talking about God here! There is no one I trust more. He is faithful and true, so I can be confidently obedient to act according to His Word and follow where He leads. I can remain obedient and keep going in the direction He has sent me even when things get hard.
I can only speak from my experience, but I have to tell you that obedience, although scary at first, has always ended up bringing me peace.
His Word says that He will go before us, and be with us and never leave us. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
His Word says blessings accompany obedience. (Deuteronomy 28:1-12)
Throughout my life, God has asked me to do a lot of things scared.
To make decisions without all the information I wanted.
To choose the unpopular path.
To give away things I wanted to keep.
To let go of things I wanted to hold onto.
To trust Him when He closed the door on certain dreams.
To trust Him when He opened the door on opportunities I didn't think I wanted.
To lean on Him when it seemed like I had no one else.
And I can testify that every single time I have been obedient to Him, He has been faithful to me. He has remained steadfast to His Word.
Because my obedience has been rewarded it has become easier for me to be obedient. I know maybe that's not the way it should be, but you know I keep it real. When we can see that the outcome was good or that it was not what we wanted, but it served His good purpose, it is easier to obey the next time.
So with each new situation, I find myself struggling and wrestling with God less. I am more immediately obedient and able to cast my cares and concerns and fears on Him, because I know He's in control. And when He's in control, I am at peace.
Now anyone who knows me well, knows that I like to be in control. Sometimes it's just easier to do than to trust or have faith. Can you relate?
I tend to always be doing something. Trying to fix something or making some plan without consulting God. I guess "doing" is my control. Doing is tangible, it's something I understand, or at least I think I understand. Doing is more comfortable to me than patience or waiting.
If I do this I can predict the possible outcomes and consequences. I can control when something will happen or prevent something from happening. If I do that I can put everything in the context of what I've learned from my past experiences or what I've seen happen to others. Even if He is calling me in a different direction, I can rationalize why my plan is the better way.
But having faith and confidence in God, means I accept that my doing does not necessarily determine the outcome of my situation....especially if my doing isn't in alignment with His Will.
My submission to Him, my obedience, my doing according to His Will are acts of trust, faith, and proof of my reliance on Him.
When I have surrendered my desires to Him.
When I have submitted to His Word.
When I have heeded the direction of the Holy Spirit.
When I have done what He told me to do, even when it seemed impossible...He has been faithful.
Things have turned out, every time, better than I could have imagined. Yes, different than I imagined. Yes, not always how I wanted. But better. Better for me or better for someone else.
Because if I've learned anything about obedience, it's that it's hard, but it's worth it.
Through obedience and surrender, I have developed a confidence in God that brings me peace. I am not saying that it's easy and I'm not saying that I'm never disobedient. But I am saying that when I am obedient, I stop stressing and feel an overwhelming sense of peace even amid struggles, trials, and obstacles because I trust Him above all.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
As a Christian and as a black woman, I spent a lot of years juggling “student Jamila”, “work Jamila”, “church Jamila”, “family Jamila”, “friend Jamila”, and “wife Jamila”. I know this makes it sound like I have multiple personality disorder. Praise the Lord, I do not. These are just some of the masks I’ve worn to fit into the different parts and places of my life.
]]>What are you living for?
To make a mark in this world, or to live eternally in Heaven?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to make an impact here on Earth. I understand the desire for this - my goal, my dream, my mission here is to leave a legacy of encouragement.
If that’s not wanting to make a mark in the world, then I don’t know what is!
But my priority, what is most important to me, isn’t living a life I love, but living a life God loves.
What’s funny is when you live with your focus on eternal life in Heaven, you end up living a life you love.
You can have both a life God loves and a life you love.
Do you compartmentalize who you are?
As a Christian and as a black woman, I spent a lot of years juggling “student Jamila”, “work Jamila”, “church Jamila”, “family Jamila”, “friend Jamila”, and “wife Jamila”. I know this makes it sound like I have multiple personality disorder. Praise the Lord, I do not. These are just some of the masks I’ve worn to fit into the different parts and places of my life.
They weren’t masks I chose to put on, they were kindof unconscious self-defense mechanisms. Each mask was a part of me, but only a part. Sharing only that part of me helped me feel accepted in the different environments and around the different groups of people in my life.
It wasn’t until starting loved+blessed and then leaving my corporate job at 42 years old, that I finally allowed myself to be fully myself in all aspects of my life.
Side note here: I am not recommending you quit your job to find peace and harmony - your journey is unique and God’s calling and direction for your life is unique to you.
I loved my life before, but when I surrendered to God’s call, the conviction and loving pushes I felt to move in a different direction than I had planned, I eventually surrendered to a life God loves and I have ended up loving too.
It’s a life where I am less concerned with the world and more concerned with His Kingdom.
I am less worried about what other people think of me (notice I said less worried, I still struggle sometimes) and more focused on what God thinks of me.
When my desires aligned with His, I found the peace and harmony and ultimately the joy I had always wanted. I have delighted in the Lord and He continues to give me the desires of my heart in a way I could have never dreamed of. He’s allowed me to throw away those “masks” I felt I needed to wear in order to be accepted and loved. And He replaced them with a crown that doesn’t elevate me above anyone else, but humbles me because it symbolizes His love for me and the value and special purpose He has assigned to my life - my journey here on Earth until I spend eternity with Him in Heaven.
I look forward with great anticipation to that glorious day. I also know that only He knows when that day, that time will be.
In the meantime, here on Earth, although I live a life I love, that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle. We all do.
For me, the hardest part of my struggles isn’t the actual situation - it’s the negative or pessimistic or fear-filled self talk that goes on in my mind.
Unhealthy, demotivating, anxiety provoking, worrying thoughts compound any challenging situation in my life and make it harder for me to live in the world, but not be of the world.
Many of you have reached out to me and shared that you struggle with maintaining a sound mind too. That stress, anxiety, worry, depression, fear, anger and other emotions impact your life in detrimental ways.
My fear of being fully myself in all circumstances, in all situations, in all my relationships, held me back from so many things in the past. The biggest thing it held me back from was fulfilling God’s good and perfect plans for me.
When we think about having a sound mind, many of us have been led to a familiar verse in 2 Timothy…
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
But let’s back up and start from the beginning of Paul’s letter to Timothy. He is writing to Timothy, someone who he has known for many years and considers like a son. In the first part of this letter, where we find this familiar verse, Paul is encouraging Timothy. He talks about Timothy’s “sincere faith” that his grandmother Lois and his mother Eunice also had. In verse 6 Paul tells Timothy to “fan into a flame” the gift that God has given him to minister to people and then he says those encouraging words.
For God has not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
In context we can see that Paul is talking about not having fear around using the gifts that God has given us. The Message translation of the Bible puts it this way:
He is calling Timothy to not be ashamed to share the Gospel and to keep going because of the power of God that lives inside of him.
So I see this "spirit of fear” that Paul talks about as a fear of living life boldly for Christ. And what I’ve found is that when I take every thought I have captive - every fear, every angry thought, every sad and hopeless thought, every funny thought, every excited thought, EVERY THOUGHT - and I consider it in the light of God’s gifts in my life, I am reminded of the power of Christ that lives in me, the love of Christ that lives in me and I can look at everything with a sound mind.
(I know that last paragraph is a total run-on sentence, but you get what I’m trying to say!)
When we set our mind on Him, when we trust Him enough to be fully ourselves, knowing that He made us who we are for His Glory, then everything else falls into place. And we can maintain a sound mind, because we don’t allow any thought to drift through our mind without running it by Him.
I hope you are reading this and yelling “Amen sister!” as you read.
But I know someone might be reading this that says, but I can’t run every thought by Him because He has abandoned me.
I struggle with clinical depression and anxiety. So I know what it’s like to have thoughts running through your mind that you can’t control.
I have found ways to take these thoughts captive and share lots of tips and strategies and tools inside our online community and at our events. I invite you to join me and find a strategy that works for you. But for those who feel like you’ve tried, but feel disconnected or abandoned by God, because you can’t seem to cultivate a sound mind, I want to speak directly to you.
He has not abandoned you. He has not moved away from you. When you accepted His Son Jesus Christ into your heart, He sent His Holy Spirit to dwell there also and that Spirit has not left. There may be stresses and pain and discouragement from life that have taken up residence in your mind, but God is still there. His still quiet Spirit is that mustard seed of hope that helps you get through another day.
You are not abandoned, you are not alone, but there are so many distractions in your life right now that you can’t see Him. This happens to all of us from time to time, and you have the power to choose to refocus your attention on Him - to reconnect with His Holy Spirit in your heart. It might be hard at first and take vulnerability and humility and dedicated time. But when you turn your focus to your relationship with Him, He is faithful to open your eyes and help you see that He has been there all along.
He is faithful to put the stress and pain into perspective. And He is faithful to replace your discouragement with peace and everlasting joy.
And He will do all of this every time you seek Him, because He loves you. Because He cares for you. And because He is God.
God who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all we could ever imagine or even think to ask for.
Stop searching as though you are abandoned.
Be still and abide and know you are loved.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
What does being wealthy mean to you? Does it mean monetary wealth? Does it mean amassing material possessions? I could throw a bunch of Christian scripture at you about riches and wealth, but instead, let me share some personal thoughts and #realtalk with you.
]]>What does being wealthy mean to you?
Does it mean monetary wealth?
Does it mean amassing material possessions?
Does it mean having a wealth of knowledge or information available to you?
Does it mean you have what you need?
Does it mean you have more than you could ever need?
What does being rich mean to you?
These questions are not being posed to pass judgment. Whatever reaction you had as you were reading them might be interesting to explore further.
When you define what wealth looks like in your own life, it helps define what you want, how you’re going to get there and most importantly, when you’ll feel content with what you have.
I could throw a bunch of scripture at you about riches and wealth. I’ll share some below so you can do your own study and see what God has to say on the subject. But for now, lemme share some personal thoughts and #realtalk with you.
I don’t believe there is anything wrong with having wealth.
I do believe you can do the wrong things with the wealth you have.
I also believe that our views about wealth are very related to our personal stories, our lived experiences and the society we grew up in.
I was born and raised in the United States of America. I’ve been blessed to travel around the world both for business and pleasure. I’ve seen how differently wealth is defined in other countries.
I learned that “poor” in the USA looks very different than “poor” in China or Africa or South America.
I’ve also learned that if you only define wealth as how much money is in your bank account, you might be missing the point.
Don’t get me wrong, wealth is great….
But it’s not what God created you for. He created you to fulfill His Will.
In order to do that, some of us will need more money than others. That money is still ultimately for His Glory.
This is a complicated topic to write about because what I’m saying can be easily misconstrued. My hope is that something you read in this post will cause you to pause and think. Think about the relationship you have with money and what wealth really means to you.
We need money to keep a roof over our heads, to buy groceries, to go to school and let’s be honest, to get all those Amazon packages delivered.
When I look at my life, I have WAY more than I could ever truly need.
There have been times where I’ve struggled financially, but my struggles are nothing compared to what so many others have experienced.
Would I be sad, even depressed, if I lost some of my wealth? The honest answer of course is Yes! As someone in her mid-forties, my husband and I are looking ahead to being able to retire one day. That takes money, and in California, that takes A LOT of money. So I do define wealth as the amount of money we have in the bank. But on a day-to-day level, my definition of wealth and richness has definitely changed as I’ve matured.
My idea of wealth used to be very tied up in material possessions. Specifically handbags and shoes and clothes and jewelry and accessories. My idea of wealth and my self-confidence were all tangled together and out of whack. If I’ve learned anything from selling things on Ebay and having garage sales…..that stuff is never worth what you think it is when you go to resell it. Its value doesn’t last.
Here are few things I’ve realized do last:
The lessons learned from experiences, travels and adventures I’ve had.
The memories of laughter from hanging out with family and friends.
The personal growth I’ve experienced from reading books, studying God’s Word and going to women’s events and retreats.
The feeling of joy when I’m able to provide something that someone else truly needs.
There are a lot of other things, but these are just the first few that come to my mind. I told you this would be some real talk, so my point isn’t that these don’t cost money….because they do. It costs money to travel. It costs money to hang out with my friends….we like to eat. It costs money to buy books and study materials and to pay to go to women’s events. And it requires money to be able to provide food or a gift or even a little financial support to someone who is in need.
So my point isn’t that money doesn’t matter, it’s that no matter how much money I have, I consider myself rich and wealthy. My friendships, my relationships, my experiences, my growth, feelings of joy - that is what makes me feel rich and wealthy.
Those are the things that make me feel content no matter how much money is in our bank account.
I’d rather spend money and go on a girls trip with my friends than buy a handbag or new pair of shoes. That may be how you’ve always felt, but it took me some time to get here.
Here’s another way to put it. I used to spend more time worrying about what I would pack to wear on a trip than thinking about what I would be experiencing on a trip. Can you relate?
I guess what I’m trying to say is, there was a time in my life when I loved money. My joy was in it and what I could buy with it. It’s been such a process over the years to turn away from my selfishness, my materialism and my warped sense of self-confidence. I still love to shop. I still like to buy stuff - stuff I need and stuff I don’t need.
BUT, I can honestly say that I don’t love money anymore. Not in an idolatry kind of way.
I love my God, my Heavenly Father, who provides. He provides what I need and He spoils me by providing what I want sometimes too. His provision can come in the form of money. Sometimes it comes in the form of patience as I wait for His provision. Sometimes it comes in the form of ideas that I can use to fulfill His purposes and that yes, will provide an income.
But what I’ve learned is that the money He provides is for a purpose that is bigger than me.
It’s not for me to spend on another handbag when I have fifty. But it might be for me to buy women’s toiletries to hand out to those in need. It might be for my family to go on a vacation. Not for me to brag about on social media, but for me to learn about other cultures and experience other parts of the world, so I can be more respectful and compassionate to his children who have a different lived experience than me. I just look at the world differently now. I look at wealth differently now and I hope that these random thoughts of mine will help you look at money differently too.
I am rich and wealthy. Because I have all I need, lots I want and a God who provides.
Scriptures For Study And Reflection
Deuteronomy 8:18
Proverbs 10:4
Luke 16:13
Mark 8:36
1 Timothy 6:9-10
Ecclesiastes 5:10
James 5:1-6
Mark 10:25
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Did you know that trees work together, protect each other, warn each other of danger, and share nutrients? Like a tree tells us that the same way a tree grows and manages tough times is the same way we grow and cope with challenging situations.
]]>Most likely, at some point you’ve sat under a tree for shade, picked its fruit (albeit from a Farmer’s Market or the grocery store bin) and sunk your teeth into the sweet fleshiness. Perhaps you’ve built a house in its branches, or climbed its limbs seeking a cozy spot. Which stump provided the perfect seating to read or think? Have you had the task of raking crisp, papery, freshly fallen leaves into a pile for play; or have the elements of a tree served as materials for a DIY project? Too often, my kites took on a mind of their own when they succumbed to the navigation of the wind and tangled themselves in the arms of its new owner. I could only stare upward.
I’m always searching for information that speaks to the science of words and how words influence our everyday lives. Scholars have done extensive neuroscientific research on words, the brain, and how words affect the way we connect with each other. And I’ve become intrigued with the research that shows that trees actually communicate with each other.
Did you know that trees work together, protect each other, warn each other of danger, and share nutrients? They are a complex web of unified and organized systems working together for the well-being of themselves and each other. I thought, if we could be more like trees; we as individuals, communities, and the world at large would be a much better place if we mimicked the behavior of trees. More interesting facts:
“…plants talk with each other in ways that are remarkably similar to humans”
“[plants] don’t use words, but they do have signaling receptors and pathways that are similar to the communication networks that occur in our brain”
“some plants use their vascular networks to send hormonal signals to other parts of the plant”
Scientists say that trees unite through their roots, forming a network almost like an underground internet – creating a system of sound, chemicals, and electricity. Plants and trees form relationships, they generate a method of caring for each other and engage in a type of steady communication … living, thriving, and growing in harmony. When one tree is sick, other trees extend nourishment through their roots until that tree becomes well.
The Bible speaks of trees. Their roots, trunk, branches, stumps, leaves, the shade they provide, and the fruit they bear like avocados, nuts, coffee beans, papaya, and cocoa (from which we get chocolate, of course).
On the third day of creation, God said, “Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.” And it was so. (Genesis 1:11 [NIV])
The exact number of tress in the world is not determined. The Amazon rain forest alone is known to have more than 16,000 species of trees. In addition to providing food, trees are used for fuel and timber. Some trees are solely ornamental – known for their beauty. Beautiful trees aide in the physical and mental wellbeing of people who live near them.
Through the process of photosynthesis, leaves absorb sunlight which turns into energy for the tree. Leaves are structured so intricately that each leaf can get the most sunlight without crowding each other. Roots are the anchor and how water and nutrients are transported to all parts of the tree.
The Bible states, “Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord … they will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.” (Jeremiah 17:8 [NIV])
The they is us. You and me. Like a tree tells us that the same way a tree grows and manages tough times is the same way we grow and cope with challenging situations. Like a tree, means that we draw energy from above, our roots run deep and wide -- stretching to receive nourishment from a surplus of resources including our own reservoir within and from each other. In doing so, we produce fruit. We generate positive results and we are successful in our endeavors and relationships.
So, when tough times come (because they do) our confidence, our faith, our hope is in the Lord our God as we draw on the supply and reserves available to us. We do this through prayer, song, healthy relationships, giving, praise and worship, reading and studying His words, expressing gratitude, utilizing wholesome information and materials offered via books, blogs, podcasts, and by caring for ourselves and each other. In doing so, we foster a network that is beautiful, full of energy, strong, and supportive.
Dig deep, reach high. Be like a tree.
Resources:
Words Can Change Your Brain by Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Waldman. https://answersingenesis.org/biology/plants/talking-trees/
I’ve actually felt pretty fearful lately. Not the kindof fearful where I even realized it. Not fright or desire to run and hide. I haven’t been jumpy or afraid to speak out. l’ve been experiencing a different kind of fear...the kind where I’m afraid to take risks, afraid to dream big.
]]>I’ve actually felt pretty fearful lately.
Not the kindof fearful where I even realized it. Not fright or desire to run and hide. I haven’t been jumpy or afraid to speak out.
l’ve been experiencing a different kind of fear...the kind where I’m afraid to take risks, afraid to dream big.
I know part of this fearful mindset is a natural and probably common reaction to all that I faced last year. So much happened personally and professionally for me that I became more risk averse.
For some people who are naturally risk takers that might actually be a good thing but I was already a risk averse person.
I like to think things through and plan everything out to prepare for every possible scenario. I usually have a plan A, B and C.
It’s a quality that makes me great at the product development, design and operational parts of being a Christian entrepreneur. But it's also the part of me that makes me less naturally comfortable with the selling, promoting and marketing parts of running a small business.
And I also know in my heart that although I am childless, God has given me loved + blessed to nurture and care for-so I fear taking big risks that could cause me to miscarry it too. I know I didn't do anything to cause my miscarriage, but it's the only way I can accurately describe how it would feel if this business ever went away.
(Don't worry we aren't going anywhere.)
So coming out of last year, where in our household and in this business, we were counting saving every penny, looking for ways to reduce costs and navigating the complications caused by a global pandemic-I've realized that I'm still operating from a place of fear.
We are still dealing with the impact of the pandemic on our material and production and shipping costs. Unfortunately, some of these effects will be permanent.
BUT that’s life.
When we’re faced with challenges, we cannot allow ourselves to be defeated.
We can allow the fear to hold us back or we can ask our God, Our Heavenly Feather to fill us with a portion of His Almighty Power so that we can be the strong and courageous woman He has called us to be.
Father,
I know You are our protector. Your Word tells us that You do not give us a spirit of fear, but instead a sound mind. We ask that You strengthen our minds today, that You transform our fears into FAITH and help us be more God-confident and daring in all that we do. Help us to use our concerns as insight that direct us in our choices and plans and not as things we let overwhelm us and knock us off the path where You want us to go. We trust You to protect us as we leap, to clear a path as we run as we stay within Your hedge of protection and keep moving forward.
May we not allow the thing we have been through to become obstacles and stumbling blocks, but instead let them be markers along our race. Let them mark the things we have endured on our way to the prize. May we continue to fight the good fight, have faith and finish the race.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
I began this year feeling emotionally drained and scatterbrained. Last year was hard on all of us and for me it was a true test of choosing joy and living encouraged no matter what.
]]>I began 2021 feeling emotionally drained and scatterbrained.
2020 was hard on all of us and for me it was a true test of choosing joy and living encouraged no matter what.
I am overwhelmed with gratitude to God that with His grace I passed that test. The same tools and encouragement I share with you helped me to praise my way through every crazy obstacle and seemingly impossible situation I faced.
And now I find myself more than a quarter of the way through a new year and feeling overwhelmed in a different way.
A good way....but y’all I could use some prayer.
I’ve been seeking guidance from God for months and asking Him for direction for next steps with loved+blessed. It seemed like He was silent through January and February, then I started to hear Him whisper in March. But boy is He speaking to me in April!
This month I have regained my focus.
Side note: Interestingly that’s my word for the year. And I’ve gotten so much confirmation of it from sermons I’ve heard, conversations with friends and even random - not so random - things that have happened.
Daily, I’m not exaggerating, literally daily, He has been dropping ideas into my spirit.
I have 4 notebooks open on my desk right now with scribbles of the thoughts and product ideas and event ideas and future plans He has opened my eyes to see. It’s what I asked for - focus and direction. He answered my prayers….and now is when the doubt starts to seep in.
Wow Lord, that would be amazing!
Wow Lord, what a cool idea!
Wow Lord, that You would entrust this to me!
Wow, Lord, I’m not worthy.
Wow Lord, are You sure?
Wow Lord, I don’t know how I will get all that done.
Wow, Lord, I need help.
Wow Lord, I wish I could, but I don’t have the resources to make that happen.
Wow, Lord, okay I’ll write this all down and start it when I have everything I need....
This is the conversation that has begun in my head.
BUT thankfully I’ve learned from my past delayed obedience, aka disobedience, that no matter what self doubt and discouraging conversation is going on in my head, I can’t delay. I have to move on this NOW and trust that He will provide.
That’s how it’s been since loved+blessed began.
In the over 7 years since I started this business and personal ministry, it has survived past seasons when I feared I’d have to shut it down.
We have hosted life changing events that I thought would never be possible and He continues to give me new ideas for our monthly theme - as of today that’s 79 different themes!
God does not have to prove anything to me.
BUT GOD has proved time and time again that He is faithful and that somehow, someway, He will make a way when I step out on faith and do it scared for His Glory.
Please pray that I would continue to hear His voice and clearly understand His guidance.
Please pray that I would be a good steward of the ideas, inspiration and vision He has given me and act on it in His right timing.
Please pray that the spirit of fear and self doubt would be removed from me and kept from making a home in my mind.
Please pray that the help, resources, willing hands and financial means would be provided.
And please pray that all that He has assigned to me will be done for His Glory and to encourage His Kingdom.
In the name of Jesus.
Sincerely, thank you for praying for me.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
With each disappointment I’ve tried to fix it in my own strength and I find myself now feeling drained and discouraged. With the words “I can’t do this” and I should just give up because “I don’t have the strength,” floating around in my head.
]]>I can’t do this.
I don’t have the strength.
These are the negative thoughts that have been popping into my mind over and over again for the last few weeks.
That might come as a surprise because I spend my days showing others how to choose joy. But that’s actually why I know how to do it…..because there are moments, days, weeks and whole seasons where I have to practice what I preach.
And this happens to be one of those seasons.
I can’t pinpoint when it started. It kindof feels like it’s been this way for a while and maybe I just started to notice. Anxiety has been getting stronger as I realize that three months of this year have already flown by and I’m behind on so many goals already. My schedule hasn’t had consistency in awhile because of unexpected things that have distracted my attention. For weeks, it’s seemed like I haven’t been able to get a handle on my life, just having to put out whatever the most urgent fire is in front of me for that day. Going to bed feeling unaccomplished with my mind racing about what I need to catch up on the next day.
Can you relate?
I get through each day by choosing joy. Choosing to believe God and know that even this struggle season is a part of HIs plan for my life. Choosing to just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward through each minute of each day, trusting that when I close my eyes at night, I can give the rest to Him and go to bed.
I keep a notebook and pen on my bedside table just for this. When I lay down to sleep and find myself feeling anxious holding onto the stress of the day, I write down all the things I’m thinking. The to do list I don’t want to forget, the racing thoughts, the worries…
In combination with soothing nature sounds and a weighted blanket, this often helps me drift off to sleep. And then there are the nights like last night, where I still woke up again throughout the night and I have to grab my notebook again and scribble down the words racing through my head.
That’s actually where this blog started. Written by hand inside of my bedside notebook at 5am…
I can’t do this.
I don’t have the strength.
And as I wrote down these thoughts and closed the notebook, I laughed to myself.
I laughed because I caught a glimpse of the cover.
Scratched up and worn over time, even in the dark, illuminated by my iphone light hiding under the covers trying not to wake up my husband, I read these simple words.
I can do this.
He gives me strength.
I have to give up so He can pour in.
I have to go beyond casting my cares and let go of my expectations.
I have to write my plans in pencil and give God the eraser.
And when I get into a season like I find myself in now, where I’ve already written my plans in pen, I have to humble myself and allow His red pen to cross things out and make corrections.
My anxiety over the future, over the plans and goals I set for myself, over the things I’d hoped I would have accomplished by now, over the things I hoped would change, are all a reflection of me not humbling myself to God.
You may be in a different situation - humility might not be your challenge - but for me, right now, my anxiety and these negative thoughts are coming from me being out of alignment with Him.
It happens to all of us from time to time. I love God and spend time with Him every day. Sometimes it’s only a few minutes and other times it’s hours. But I can honestly say there isn’t a day that passes that I don’t speak to Him. But there are days that pass that I don’t listen to Him. That I don’t humble myself to ask for His guidance. Days that I don’t humble myself to ask for His strength.
So instead I try to go it alone and do it all on my own.
And that’s where I find myself right now. For the last few weeks I’ve been so focused on trying to get my life “back on track” and back to the planned out daily schedule that I am most comfortable in, that I’ve unintentionally been writing my plans in pen and getting anxious and frustrated as they haven’t been working out.
With each disappointment I’ve tried to fix it in my own strength and I find myself now feeling drained and discouraged. With the words “I can’t do this” and I should just give up because “I don’t have the strength,” floating around in my head.
But as I write this I feel hopeful, I am reconnected with the joy of the Lord deep down in my soul. Not because everything has miraculously changed. I’m still behind on my goals and it might still be weeks before I can get back to a consistent schedule, BUT GOD humbled me with Paul’s words to the Philippians this morning.
The thing that’s changed, is that I’ve been reminded, convicted really, to humble myself and rely on Him for my strength instead of trying to manifest it myself.
Our strength comes from within, not because of us, but because of the Holy Spirit within us.
Christ’s perseverance within us.
God’s love within us.
So in this season, I will continue to choose joy each day by seeking to listen to God more.
By being more intentional about asking Him to order my steps.
I will remind myself of that acronym I held onto tightly when I first became a Christian.
I will F.R.O.G. Fully Rely On God.
Not just in my words that I speak, but also in my thought life too.
When I think to myself, “I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough,” I will humble myself and say…
I am not strong enough, BUT You are. Holy Spirit, please remove these untrue thoughts from my mind, Jesus please help me to persevere and God help me to believe in my heart what it says in Your Word, that I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. May I be a good steward of every minute of every day. May I stay on the path you have laid out before me. May I celebrate what You have allowed me to accomplish in each day and not focus on what You have determined will be left undone. Help me to humble myself and remember that it’s not about me, it’s all about You. May You always get the glory. I want to be a vessel You can use. I will not only cast my cares on You, but I will listen for what You tell me I should care about. In the name of Jesus. Amen.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Have you ever said that you were going to take “a leap of faith”? Although the phrase isn’t in the Bible, the idea of following God in faith is certainly Biblical, and there are times we may feel like we’re taking a leap. It doesn’t mean we are stepping out into the unknown; it merely means that we trust God.
]]>Have you ever said that you were going to take “a leap of faith”? Although the phrase isn’t in the Bible, the idea of following God in faith is certainly Biblical, and there are times we may feel like we’re taking a leap. It doesn’t mean we are stepping out into the unknown; it merely means that we trust God.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
It’s likely if you feel God is asking you to act in faith, it will take you outside of your comfort zone. Feeling inadequate and completely unequipped to take on the task is not uncommon. The definition of leap is, jump or spring a long way, to a great height, or with great force.
Many of us might like to step (even take baby steps) into an obedient act of faith because a leap is a big deal. It is a commitment once started. There can be no reliance on self; reliance must be squarely centered on God.
That is where I am right now.
Let me be clear. I am not writing this from a position of, “Hey, I’ve got this all figured out…. listen to me." Instead, I am inviting you to walk into this with me and as I share my story, consider where God might be asking you to faithfully trust Him.
I have been on a faith journey over the last several months that has challenged me and shown me how God patiently and faithfully moves me in the right place at the right time; His timing is perfect.
My faith walk isn't new, and yours may not be either. The very foundation of what we believe hinges on faith. We believe in God by faith. We can’t see Him, but we know He is there. We receive our salvation by faith. It's not something we can put our hands-on, but we know because we get guidance from the Holy Spirit that lives in us if we have it. We believe in these things we can’t see, touch, or smell, but we have no doubt they exist.
The journey I’m talking about is a faith that takes us deeper in our relationship with our good Father. Consider this quote as we dig deeper.
R. C. Sproul said,
Believing God…not just believing in God. He will call us to be obedient to His direction in our lives, requiring us to move from knowing and acknowledging to acting. It takes us to a place of total and complete reliance on Him.
Those watching us may not understand what we are doing. Most likely, we don't see the entire plan as we take that initial leap. Indeed, this is the trademark of acting in faith.
At this point, you are probably wondering about this decision I’ve mentioned. For several months now, I have felt God calling me to retire from my 31-year teaching career and move into devoting myself to this ministry of writing. In all honesty, it has taken some time for me to realize this and accept it.
Teaching is what I am comfortable doing, and it has been a part of my identity all my adult life. I’ve had a hard time envisioning what my life would look like without teaching.
Writing publicly, on the other hand, takes me way outside of my comfort zone. I've been doing it for a prayer group at school, but to put myself out there in a position of vulnerability with people I don’t know…that terrifies me.
I haven’t taken this decision lightly because I wanted to be sure I’m interpreting God’s call correctly. It is prudent to make decisions with our eyes wide open, making sure not to ignore any guidance God is giving.
I’d like to share the steps I've taken on this journey with you.
I know myself well. Experience tells me there are two extremes that I must guard against when discerning God’s direction for me.
One extreme is to be so excited about something that I act before truly searching out God’s will. This is a place where my own ambitions can easily cloud my judgment. It seems like something good, and I want it so badly that it certainly must be God’s will. At times, I’ve wanted something so badly that I thought surely God wanted it for me. It’s taken time to reach the place where I realize just
because I think it is my heart’s desire doesn’t mean it fits God’s timing or plan for me. Those are hard lessons to learn.
The other extreme, and one that I struggle mightily with, is to analyze the situation to the point of never doing anything. I can think of every “what-if” situation that could ever arise. Some would call this analysis paralysis because it undoubtedly freezes me in place and keeps me from acting.
One reason for over-analyzing a situation is fear; it is a powerful weapon of the enemy. It causes us to stand still when God is telling us to move. The enemy knows us well; he knows our weaknesses, and he knows he can cause us to doubt God by using fear. He can render us ineffective by freezing us in our comfortable place.
1 Peter 5:8 reminds us to be on guard. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
One final caution is to guard against misplaced faith. This one is very sneaky. It happens when we don’t keep our focus on God but put it on something else. There are many things out there vying for our faith, but one example is our natural abilities. They are good, and God can use them. However, if we can complete the task without God, relying solely on our own skills, faith in God isn’t needed.
These are a few things that can really muddy the waters in discerning God’s call to act in faith, but the best way to avoid them is proper preparation.
Proper preparation allows us to discern God’s voice amidst all the noise and chaos that is going on in our lives.
Pray, pray, and pray again. God's timing is not our timing; therefore, sometimes His answers don't come as quickly as we would like. He doesn't always answer the way we think He should, but He will respond in a way that aligns with His will for our lives. We need to be persistent and consistent. Jesus said, "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7)
Our heavenly Father never tires of hearing from us, and He wants us to be specific. God doesn’t need us to clarify for Him, but it does help us to more clearly understand what our needs are and to be able to identify when He answers our prayer.
Seek the counsel of trusted believers. In my own decision-making, I sought out friends that have made similar decisions to my own. This was helpful because they could get me out of the "weeds" of my own thinking and provide some perspective I hadn't considered. Their insight into the process helped me see the benefits and be aware of difficulties I will likely encounter.
Reflect on past times that God has been faithful. Over my career, I have made many changes. I’ve changed grade levels, schools, and even positions within my field. I often couldn't see the plan, but in hindsight, I can see God's hand was on each of the moves. He had something far more significant in mind than just a change in my job assignment.
Listen to God. Get quiet and hear what He is saying. His answers come in many different forms, a scripture, a word of wisdom from a friend or pastor, a song, or just a quiet voice. Our lives are so busy that we can easily overlook these things and miss God’s direction.
After you have spent adequate time preparing and hearing from God, it’s time to put action to the plan.
Likely, God isn’t going to lay out the whole plan at the start. Most often, He will illuminate one step at a time. The next step will come when He is ready to move you further.
This is hard for me. I like to see all the steps lined up in a nice, neat row, but that isn’t acting in faith; that is simply following directions.
My own decision to retire and move in a different direction has been overwhelming and perplexing at times. God has been good to me and shown me my first steps.
In November, I took the first step and started a blog. I knew nothing about starting a blog, so there was a huge learning curve. Additionally, I have committed
to posting a new piece of writing each week. This is difficult, especially while working full time. God has been so faithful to provide in ways I never imagined.
The second step was submitting my intent to retire at the end of this school year. The enemy frequently interjects and tells me I have made a mistake, but I turn my eyes back to God, and I am reassured.
The next step…I have no idea, but I am trusting Him to illuminate it when He is ready. While I wait, I will do my best to patiently and diligently serve right where I am.
Philippians 1:6 reminds me to keep me pressing on:
“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
It is God's faithfulness to us that supports and empowers our faith in Him. We can always move boldly forward in whatever task God has asked us to complete. In the end, what a great gift to be counted as a faithful servant of our Lord.
Bible Reference
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Let's be real, it can feel like we're constantly being rated and judged by the world. We've all heard about the comparison trap and how social media is one of the ways we fall into comparing our real lives to other people's perfectly curated online lives.
]]>I have often felt unworthy. I've felt like I'm not important, that what I do isn't important, that my life isn't important. Those are lies of the enemy, but I'm not ashamed to say I believed them before. I allowed the enemy to whisper his lies into my mind. I allowed the enemy to use people to make me question my self worth. I allowed the enemy to use other's worldly success and popularity to make me feel unimportant.
Let's be real, it can feel like we're constantly being rated and judged by the world. We've all heard about the comparison trap and how social media is one of the ways we fall into comparing our real lives to other people's perfectly curated online lives. But what about those every day questions that sometimes innocently are asked when people are just trying to get to know you....
Where did you go to school?
What degrees do you have?
What do you do for a living?
What kind of car do you drive?
Where do you live?
Do you own your own home?
Are you married?
How much money do you make?
And my personal favorite....How many kids do you have?
The person asking might judge you based on your answer, but I've found that more often, I judge myself.
I was just talking with some friends about how I used to shy away from telling people where I grew up for fear of being judged. That fear wasn't unfounded. I have had many experiences of being the target of stereotypes and discrimination based on things like where I have lived.
And then there's that lovely question, "how many kids do you have?"
That's another one of those innocent questions that we ask each other, without realizing the impact it can have on those who are not childless by choice.
But this post isn't about my infertility, it's about how the enemy can use those things you are insecure about, to make you question your worth.
When I'm asked if I have kids, or how many I have, I used to immediately think about how I'm not as important as other women who are moms. I have even thought I wasn't worthy of my husband's love because I can't give him a child.
I realize that this isn't something that I can control, but for a long time I let this make me feel ashamed.
Can you relate?
Maybe not to feeling less important, because you're not a mom, but what about some area of your life where you don't seem to measure up to what others expect of you?
It's overwhelming thinking about all the ways our worth, value and impact are measured by the world and how the enemy uses that to make us question our own worth.
But after some really deep valley seasons of depression and struggle, I've realized that the enemy is simply wrong. My worth, your worth, isn't measured by him or the world.
He assigned a value and importance to your life before you were even born. That's why you were born! Don't rush past that, you, YES YOU, play an important role in HIStory.
Over and over again in the Bible, God uses people who the world see as unworthy in powerful ways. He uses people who the world has judged or disregarded to do incredibly important things.
In my life He's helped me see how even though the world might make me feel unworthy because I'm not a mom, He believes I'm worthy of the assignment He's given me to encourage you. That assignment, that mission, is just as important as raising children for His Glory.
No matter what the world or the enemy tries to tell you about yourself, the only opinion that matters is God's.
It all comes back to Him.
He created you, He assigns worth and importance to your life and no one can take that away. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of who He created you to be. Don't let anyone make you feel that what He has assigned you to do is unimportant.
Not being a mom, I have an almost indescribable appreciation for motherhood and all it entails. It breaks my heart when I talk to women who are stay at home moms who tell me they don't feel as important as their friends who are doctors or teachers or work in marketing for some big brand. I remind them that what they are doing, raising the child or children that God blessed them with, is of great importance in God's eyes. That He has some special purpose for that child's life and He's trusted you with them. I also feel that being a mom isn't only about the child. My friends who are mom's are some of the most patient people I know. They are not perfect...they loose their cool at times....but talk about growing in the Fruit of the Spirit! I have learned so much about patience from watching them. They don't even realize how they have helped me cultivate more patience in my every day life. They are just as important and worthy as anyone else.
You are here for a reason. The fact that God created you gives you value. He is purposeful in everything He does, so don't let the world tell you any different.
Comment below and let me know.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Each day of your life is a step in the process of becoming who God created you to be. It’s funny how God already knows who you are today and who you will become, but often we struggle to see and accept ourselves.
]]>Each day of your life is a step in the process of becoming who God created you to be. It’s funny how God already knows who you are today and who you will become, but often we struggle to see and accept ourselves.
Something I’ve found interesting when I read or watch biographies of people is how they go through periods of trying to “find themselves”. Often they go off on a solo adventure; they travel; they challenge themselves to take a big risk or accomplish a goal. But I’ve found that “finding myself”, understanding who I am and who I was created to be is something I can do without leaving my home, if I do it with God.
Now I’m not saying don’t travel! See the world! It’s one of the things I’ve been fortunate to have been able to do a lot of and it’s been a huge part of what has made me the woman I am today. Traveling for me has opened my mind to understanding diversity, seeing for myself that God created a vast world full of lots of different people and cultures and nature and landscapes - oceans and deserts and forests and everything in between. It’s helped me see things more through His eyes. But “finding myself” is something that for me has happened mostly at home. In a quiet little corner, sitting in a chair, with a cozy blanket, spending time talking to Him in prayer.
I remember the year I graduated from high school and started college. I had spent most of high school trying to fit in. I would let my “real self” show every once in awhile, but I spent a lot of energy trying to dress in a way that people would like me, talk in a way that people would think I was cool, behave in a way that fit with whatever social circle I found myself in. I learned to be a chameleon who adjusted herself in different situations to be accepted and acceptable.
I’ve never really fit into the expectations that others have had of me. I shared in a blog post a few years back about how I’ve never really fit in. It was exhausting and eventually it made me question who I was. When you spend your life changing yourself for other people, you start to forget who you are, what you like, what you want. So I was excited to start college. I remember feeling like I could reinvent myself and get a fresh start.
When I say “get a fresh start,” I mean that I wanted to change how others perceived me. This was all before I had a deep personal relationship with God. The extent of my Christianity was going to church on Sunday. So in this season of my life I was focused on who others thought I was and who I wanted to be. I never asked Him who He created me to be.
It took me years and years to realize that what makes me different is what makes me special and not something to be ashamed of. It took me years to unlearn the masks I wore to fit in.
I had a desire to be fully seen and heard, but I wore so many masks that I’m not sure how I expected anyone to be able to see or hear the real me. This had a huge effect on my relationships with friends, family and co-workers. And over the years, I’ve gone on more than one quest to figure out who I am.
I am a complicated woman who loves simple things.
I am a lover of people and making others smile.
I am affectionate and need lots of affection.
I am a homebody who loves to travel.
I am a talker who loves to write.
I am a giver who can be selfish.
I am a peacemaker who’s pride can cause unrest.
I am humble but also desire recognition.
I am these things and so so much more. As they say….it’s complicated. In order to be fully seen and heard, I’ve had to let people see and hear me. Not the me I think they want to hear, but the real me. Even the parts of me that seem contradictory. I have to take off the masks and lean into my positive attributes while being honest about where I’m still a work in progress.
Most importantly, I have to be okay with who I am. I have to not stand in judgement of myself. I have to love me and know that today is a snapshot of me at this moment in time - I’m still perfectly imperfect and on my way to becoming who God created me to be.
I started out talking about how I think you can “find yourself” at home. A grand quest or adventure to places unknown is not necessarily required.
As I’ve developed a personal relationship with Jesus, I’ve realized that figuring out who I want to be is figuring out who He created me to be. That is something you can do anywhere - all you need is some time with God.
It could take a day, weeks, months or even years, but if you spend some time seeking His clarity, He will reveal Himself to you and show you your own heart.
He will reveal who you are.
He will shine light on what He loves about you.
He will convict whatever you need to change.
He will light your path for becoming who you are meant to be.
You might be reading this and thinking…”that sounds good, but how do I start?” So I want to share some practical questions you can ask yourself and Him.
Who am I? How would I describe myself?
Am I being too soft or too hard on myself? Am I being honest with myself?
How do other people perceive me? Is it in alignment with how I see myself? Why do they see me this way?
What masks might I be wearing in different areas of my life that influence how others see me?
Why do I wear these masks? What am I afraid of revealing about myself?
What does God’s Word say about me?
How have the experiences in my life influenced who I am today in a positive way? How did God use them to mold me?
What positive things could come out of being more myself?
How can I live each day more authentically me?
What are my hopes for how I will grow and change in the future?
How does who I am relate to God’s Will for my life?
These are just a few of the questions I’ve pondered. I hope they help you.
You can’t find yourself without God’s help.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. — Ephesians 2:10
Why search the world when you know who already has the answer? He is the one who created you for a purpose, for His purpose. He doesn’t want you to try to hide who you are. Don’t hide his masterpiece. Instead, set aside some time to find yourself in Him.
Have you tried to “find yourself”? Share your story and comment below.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Have you ever wondered to yourself, why is my journey a mess? when will I get there in life? Well, that question is normal. It comes up when we are scared and doubt God's plan for us or when we don't understand God's work on our journey.
]]>Have you ever wondered to yourself, Why is my journey a mess? when will I get there in life?
Well, that question is normal. It comes up when we are scared and doubt God's plan for us or when we don't understand God's work on our journey.
Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus -Philippians 1:6
As you walk this journey, remember that God created it for you and for His purpose. Don’t compare your life to those of friends or family members. Don’t be discouraged and know that there is nothing to fear when life doesn’t go as planned. You may see some people heading in the path you would want to be in or living the life you’ve always dreamed of, but remember, it is not God’s timing just yet. There is always a reason why you are where you are on your journey,
God already knows who will be a part of your journey, and for you to encounter them you must be where you are. The people you meet right now are the ones that God has put in your path and you have the opportunity to bless them, so don’t miss out on the chance.
I’d like to share with you a story I read about one woman’s journey to God.
Like her story, enjoy the path you’re on and have faith. God has you in it for a reason that only He truly knows.
Philippa’s Journey from Faith in Herself to Faith in Her Creator God
Journalist and successful PR professional, Philippa Lowe, was in her forties when the death of her mother triggered an unexpected spiritual journey. An agnostic with new age tendencies, she had a dream on the morning of the funeral. Her long-disabled mother was running in a field of wildflowers, surrounded by children. Her husband had an identical dream—at first it seemed like ‘a sign from the universe that she’s ok.’
Not long after, she lost out on a job for a Communications Officer at a local Christian school. Still smarting from that, she went on Easter holidays and, for three mornings straight, woke up at about 3 am with some old song lyrics from The Song of Bernadette blasting through her mind.
‘What?’ she asked, wondering at this ‘sign’.
A confronting Voice said, ‘Sort it out!’
She knew the Voice was referring to the mess of spiritual notions floating around her mind. It was a challenge to examine Christianity. She thought the pressure would ease when she returned to work, but it didn’t.
So she googled ‘learn more about Jesus’ and her suburb. And then she rang up a local church and spoke to the minister. On explaining why she was phoning, he said, ‘I know how this ends.’
A deeply unpleasant surge of something significant about to happen overtook her.
Philippa began a guided search to satisfy her head and her heart. She understood from new age that you can thought-create your world, be anything you want to be if you keep thinking the right thoughts. But she’d realized it was not only exhausting, faith in yourself in a dodgy proposition at best.
The compelling discovery of ‘Someone who loved me enough to take flesh, die the most humiliating death and then overcome death, just because He wants to be in relationship with me’ was an overwhelming relief. ‘That’s way better than me trying to do it on my own,’ Philippa said.
Philippa continues her journey of discipleship.
I hope you have enjoyed Philippa’s story and that you were able to take something from it.
Know that wherever you are in your journey, you will surely get there in God's timing.
In the end, it is for God's glory and with that in mind keep your faith in His work.
Stay strong and smile as you keep moving forward on your journey that is always and forever blooming into something beautiful.
by Lisa Covil
Lisa lives in California and is a mother of two beautiful children. She is a writer and author of Through the Beauty of Grace I will devotional.
#loved or #blessed are popular hashtags on social media. Although as daughters of the King and sisters in Christ, we might have good intention behind using them, have you noticed that they are used by those who don’t believe in Him too?
]]>“I know I am loved and blessed because God has been so patient and merciful towards me.”
I don’t know about you, but I’ve experienced a lot of highs and lows in my life. Some experiences happened to me and others I caused by my choices. This is true whether the experience was good or bad.
Thank God for His patience. Mine would have run out a long time ago! He’s watched me continue to sin in some areas of my life and ask for forgiveness again….He’s witnessed my disobedience (or what I like to call delayed obedience to make myself feel better) even when I profess to trust Him.
But in His infinite mercy, He has and continues to bless me. I’m not talking about material stuff, although I am very grateful for those blessings too…
#loved or #blessed are popular hashtags on social media. Although as daughters of the King and sisters in Christ, we might have good intention behind using them, have you noticed that they are used by those who don’t believe in Him too?
Of course, we are all God’s children, so my point is not that non-believers are not #loved or #blessed, but I want to challenge you to think more deeply about what those words mean so that they will be a true encouragement in your life and not just hashtags or slogans we wear on Christian t shirts.
When I named this company loved and blessed, I honestly was thinking about being blessed in the way the secular world looks at it. Back in 2014 I wanted to encourage you to remember how much God loves you and how much He has blessed you with. I started this business out of my own pain over infertility and the motherhood I have not been blessed with, so I encouraged myself by remembering that although we didn’t have a child, we were still so blessed because of all the other things we did have.
Of course we were and are very #blessed with so many things, but over the years, as I’ve matured in Christ, the phrase “loved and blessed” has grown to mean something deeper to me.
I’ve written so many posts about just how loved you are. I’m sure you never get tired of hearing it, LOL, but if you need a reminder, read this post I wrote about God’s unconditional love for you.
The greatest gift is to be loved.
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. - John 3:16
We love because He first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
It’s only natural that because we are loved, we love Him and want to bless His Holy Name (Psalm 103:1), by living a life He is proud of - a life worthy of Jesus’ sacrifice.
In Colossians 1:21-23, Paul says “Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation - if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I Paul, have become a servant.”
Did you catch that? “He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight…”
Through Christ’s death, we have been consecrated with His blood. We have been called out of darkness to walk with Him in His Light and Truth.
“Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:13-16)
A life worthy of Jesus’ sacrifice is blessed. Not because of the material things we receive or the good things that happen to us, but because it is being made holy day-by-day.
Through our obedience…
Through our hunger for righteousness…
Through our pursuit of peace…
Through the trials we persevere through…
So although it is still true that you (and I) are loved and blessed, because God loves us and because we have been blessed with so many things and experiences…..living loved and blessed means that we fully trust God because we know how deeply He loves us and we are blessed even by our trials, because we know God is using them to make us more holy with each day.
Just like in the beginning, God finished His work on the 7th day and rested and blessed it and made it holy, God is doing the same in your life too. (Genesis 2:3)
He is still at work in your life. He has not finished the work He will do through you. But with each day, through His mercy, His patience and His unending love of you, He is blessing you and making you holy so that you can rest in Him.
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
At your next opportunity, (because in our fallen world these opportunities come early and often), instead of handling one another in anger or frustration, let us humble ourselves and be completely gentle and bear one another in love.
]]>My almost 11-year-old daughter, Gabby, really is an amazing cook. I often marvel at her understanding of flavors, textures, and how certain spices perfectly blend with others to make a good meal, great. For her age, I would venture to say she is an extraordinary cook.
In a word… she gets it from her Mama! I too know my way around a kitchen. I am the girl whose house friends flock to at the mere mention of the idea that I may want to throw a brunch or dinner. I often get requests for recipes and even more often than that, people ask me to cook certain dishes to take with them to parties or to add to their holiday tables. I love it really, and my daughter shares my same enthusiasm from seeing people enjoy the foods she’s prepared with love. You see, it’s kinda our thing around here.
One night this past week I came home from work extremely tired. I was both mentally spent and physically exhausted, so when my daughter announced that she wanted to cook that night’s meal, I was not only happy; I was beyond grateful to oblige her. I made my way to my room to change into my comfortable clothes. I grabbed my phone, stretched across the bed, and began the mindless task of scrolling social media and laughing at the cuteness and silliness of my friends’ posts.
While lounging out, completely enjoying the moment of just being, I could smell the magnetic aroma of garlic, onions, and if I knew my child well, paprika and turmeric mingled with pink sea salt and cracked pepper marrying with a sizzling pan of fresh vegetables. She was making one of my favorite dishes! The smell alone was enough to make me want to drift into the kitchen to see how things were coming along and maybe snag a taste of something, but I was much too tired and too comfortable relaxing on my bed to come to the table before I was called. I knew she had it. As I said before, she’s proven herself to be a great cook, and she knows her way around knives and any such thing that a parent would be concerned about, so I continued to enjoy this rare moment of solitude while she labored.
Eventually, the clanging of my steel spatula against the pan; the scraping of pots and the sweet smell of orange sauce bubbling on the stove, beckoned me out of my room and down the hall. The smell and the time I had been afforded to rest both told me that dinner; a vegan orange “chicken” with brown rice and stir-fried veggies, was nearly complete. I made my way to the kitchen still tired, still thinking of how great it would be to have a full belly and a hot shower before retreating back to my room to rest for the night.
I was thinking how great it would be to finally have a night to do nothing, but when I got near the kitchen my daughter shouted from the stove “Mom, don’t come in here!” The words alone made my feet move faster to see exactly why I was being begged, not ordered, to refrain from setting foot in my own kitchen.
When I rounded the corner, I understood exactly why she’d asked. Every cabinet door in the kitchen stood wide open. Countless number of spice jars covered the counters, wads of paper towel where strewn from one end to the other, and a bottle of soy sauce that had been mistakenly dropped, lay gushing on the linoleum floor. Basically, my kitchen was a COMPLETE disaster, and my ideas of grandeur, of having one little night to rest began to crash and burn in front of me. You see, my almost 11-year-old is an extraordinary cook, but she is not the best at cleaning. In that department she is as 10 as a 10-year-old can get, and I knew for sure she couldn’t handle the task of cleaning up after herself alone… at least not to my satisfaction.
I sighed as I got myself poised to grumble, groan and ask a million frustrated questions about why she had to turn my kitchen into a disaster area to make a meal. She was frantically moving back and forth trying to get dinner on the table, mumbling promises that she would clean it up.
It sounds so petty today, but I was devastated looking at all the work I had to do to fix this or help fix this when all I wanted to do was rest… Can I just get ONE DAY to rest?! To not have to work all day and then come home and work until it was time to go to sleep? That’s what my days as a single mother look like, and I just wanted the night off. Just one. I could feel the aggravation swelling in my chest, but then I felt that soft familiar tap of the Holy Spirit on my shoulder. His touch immediately sent the air in my chest softly out of my nose instead of abruptly out of my mouth as I had planned. I looked at my daughter, trying so hard to do something to help me, to please me, to make me happy so I wouldn’t have to do it and the Lord spoke these words that I’ll never forget;
“Broken kitchens are much easier to mend than broken spirits.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. How would it have made me feel if I was trying to do something to impress someone and all they did was pick my good deed apart? How would I feel if I’d prepared a delicious meal, had tried my very best, and the person who I was trying to love, (because my daughter and I both love on others through cooking) decided to criticize my dirty dishes instead? I would feel terrible, broken and maybe even offended too. That right there is a recipe that the enemy loves to concoct to keep us at odds with one another. If I were to have done what I genuinely felt like doing… complain… then I would have broken my daughter’s spirit and soured the blessing that she was trying to hand me. I could fix the broken kitchen in 30 minutes, but she would remember the moment that I overlooked her big act of kindness and love toward me to yell at her about open cabinets and splattered soy sauce on the floor, maybe for a lifetime. It just wasn’t worth it. So, instead of fussing and complaining, I began to help her.
“be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” - Ephesians 4:2
We often understand these words in the context of scripture. It makes perfect sense as it leaps off the pages of our bibles and dances in our hearts while we are enjoying the beauty of quiet time with Jesus in our bedrooms. We should do this! We will do this! That is our declaration because we almost always intend to be good reflections of Jesus on the earth, but somehow, we often miss it in real-time. It’s so clear that we need to bear one another in love when we read it, but does it ring true or even doable when someone does something to hurt us? When they do something more than destroy our kitchen in an attempt to love us? What about when they miss the mark and their actions rock an entire family, church or even a community? When a decision they have made reflects poorly on us individually or the Body of Believers at large, and outsiders call to question our faith or even our King? When yet another hypocrisy headline attempts to mar the character of the Church because some preacher, some leader, some person associated with us got it wrong.
Are we willing to bear with love then? Will we blow the hot winds of anger out of our mouths, or even worse; make cruel jokes or lengthy opinion posts on social media with everybody else? It’s so easy to find ourselves being critical of each other rather than caring, but God’s word instructs us to do the latter. So, whether it is something simple like my little kitchen story, something painful like a personal embarrassment or mishandling of trust, or if the actions of our brothers or sisters make national news, Ephesians 4:2 still applies. Yes, even when it hurts. Even when we don’t want to do it!
You see the thing is, every one of us will get our turn to sit in that seat. At one time or another in life we will all find ourselves in the place where our well-intended actions go wrong or our flat out bad judgement calls land us in the line of fire on a small or large scale, and when that happens, what we will want and need the most is to be handled with love.
The more severe the offense is, the more our flesh doesn’t want to do it, but our instruction manual speaks in no uncertain terms that it must be done. So, at your next opportunity, (because in our fallen world these opportunities come early and often), instead of handling one another in anger or frustration, let us humble ourselves and be completely gentle and bear one another in love. Broken kitchens can be cleaned. Broken trusts, wounded egos and even broken hearts can be so well mended in Christ, but broken spirits are hard to recover from. Being handled with harshness, even if it is deserved, usually sends us away, but love draws us in.
That little moment with my daughter and taught me something about how I am supposed to love you. That it is more excellent for me to humble myself and love than to react in a way that could irreversibly wound my brother or sister. So, even in the frustration know that God has you so He also expects you to do what He would do and choose love. And although the pain of obeying this can sometimes range from mildly irritating to down-right excruciating, both of those feelings are temporary. The benefit of bearing one another in love springs eternal!
Be Encouraged!
by Ronda Peck
Ronda "TruFiyah" is a mother, author, blogger, event curator and music enthusiast from Cincinnati, Ohio. In short, she's a creative, but that wasn't always a welcomed title. She often struggled to figure out how a Soul-music loving, romancing-writing Christian could exist and actually bring glory to God in a real way, but through the surrendering of her gifts back to the One Who gave them to her, she discovered that God really can use all things of our growth and His glory.
You know that saying that goes “actions speak louder than words”?I’ve always had trouble totally agreeing with it, because my life experiences have proven to me that words matter. Actions are very important. Yes they are! But I believe words have a unique power all their own.
]]>You know that saying that goes “actions speak louder than words”?
I’ve always had trouble totally agreeing with it, because my life experiences have proven to me that words matter. Actions are very important. Yes they are! But I believe words have a unique power all their own.
When someone is discouraged, when someone has lost hope, when someone is searching for answers, when someone needs reassurance, when someone needs clarity, words can be vital. Think about it - in many situations words are the first response; they precede action.
Words are the fastest, most immediate way to pass on hope.
If you’ve followed loved+blessed for any amount of time, I’m sure you can guess my love language is words of affirmation. I tend to give and receive love best through encouragement, appreciation, empathy, active listening, writing - sending/receiving unexpected texts, cards and emails.
Even if words of affirmation isn’t your love language, as a Christian, the Bible instructs us to speak the truth in love.
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace….It was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” - Ephesians 4:2-3, 11-16
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. — Ephesians 4:29
When we think before we speak, we are not only taking the time to make sure our words are edifying to others, but we’re also protecting ourselves from putting our foot in our mouths!
“He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin. - Proverbs 13:3
“The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. — Proverbs 15:28
“A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul. — Proverbs 17:7
Our words can destroy relationships and cause division.
“A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. — Proverbs 16:28
“Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. — Proverbs 17:14
“A scoundrel plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. — Proverbs 16:27
When someone comes at us with anger or hate, we can choose to respond with love and grace.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. — Proverbs 15:1
In every situation we must practice self-control.
“A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. — Proverbs 15:18
“A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. — Proverbs 17:27
Listening is just as important as speaking.
“He who answers before listening - that is his folly and his shame. — Proverbs 18:13
When we speak truth we can bring healing and lift someone’s spirits.
“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. — Proverbs 15:4
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. — Proverbs 16:24
Our words can be the right-on-time encouragement that someone else needs.
“A man finds joy in giving an apt reply - and how good is a timely word! — Proverbs 15:23
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. — Proverbs 18:21
Seriously, I could go on and on with verses from scripture, but I think you get my point. Words matter.
So I want to encourage you not to take them for granted.
Don’t neglect greeting strangers with a “hello.” It acknowledges that we are seen.
Don’t neglect saying “see you later” or “welcome home”, it reminds us that we’re welcome.
Don’t neglect asking how someone is really doing. It reminds us that someone cares.
Don’t neglect texting a joke, funny picture or a meme. It relieves tension and gives us an opportunity to laugh.
Don’t neglect responding to messages - whether text or email or video - it reminds us we are connected.
Don’t neglect writing some good ‘ole fashion snail mail. The time and care you took to do it can cultivate a feeling of hopefulness in someone’s heart that’s worth the extra effort of dropping it in the mail.
Passing on hope isn’t expensive. It isn’t hard. Your words don’t have to be perfect or eloquent, they just have to come from your heart.
“Moses said to the Lord, “Oh Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to our servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” The Lord said to him, “Who gave man his mouth? who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.” (Exodus 4:10-12)
Whether spoke or written, God will give you the right words to communicate. He will give you words that have the power to
encourage
heal
inspire
unite
save
and so much more…
My prayer is that you will not take for granted the power of your words and use them to lift others up and speak truth in love in all circumstances.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)
Do you know the power of your own words? Which scriptures from this post really stand out to you?
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.
Your core worth as a person is not based on your net worth. Fear will keep you struck, but praising Jesus in-spite of it will let you be greater than the circumstances.
]]>Your core worth as a person is not based on your net worth, even if you feel like it is!
It’s true: “Too many people spend money they earned..to buy things they don't want..to impress people that they don't like,” said Will Rogers.
When it comes to you just financially surviving and scared of the future, then it’s time for the paradox of patient trust in God while evaluating your situation one more time. I’m looking for an additional job, so I understand what it is like. Fear will keep you stuck, but praising Jesus in-spite of it will let you be greater than the circumstances.
Jesus offers us so much more than financial security, more than you can hope for or need. His promises will come true for those who love Him, if not today, then when He comes back. We can find the strength to use our money wisely and know there is a future for us.
What a sad, accurate title: “Millennials say anxiety about money is literally making them sick” published by MarketWatch last year, and it is nothing to laugh at.
Whatever your age, draw peace from frequent time spent with Jesus, speak with Him to find advise in the Bible because we all need God’s supernatural wisdom to help us. To face money troubles, focus on going from feeling stressed to positive about the future.
I have found when I have been driving and I am overwhelmed and rushed, if I praise God in prayer and song, I go thinking about what I can’t control to what I can choose. It reminds me that Jesus does care what I am facing, and is doing something about it even if I haven’t seen it yet.
“Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.”
“If you ever think you have no value, always remember that God gave EVERYTHING he had to redeem you! He literally bankrupted heaven by sacrificing His Son just to get - YOU! He didn't make that sacrifice for nothing. You don't spend $1,000,000 on a $3,000 car. Your value to God is immeasurable!” -Ben Piershale
What is the driving force in your career and spending habits? Are you doing things unto the Lord or are you to focused on your lifestyle? “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money” Matthew 6:24 (NIV). Yet, you can make smart choices about your budget and career to improve them and still seek time with family and Christ.
Benjamin Franklin was spot on when he said, “Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.” But it feels like having a little extra would drop financial stress, doesn’t it? As my aunt said, “Even if you win life’s rat race, you’re still a rat.”
Some Biblical insight into our troubled times: “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.” 2 Timothy 3:1-5 (NIV). Intently live the opposite of this list.
When we feel we don’t have enough to help someone, remember how John Ruskin said, “A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money.” A couple of the most thoughtful acts of friendship I have received were from those who had little. How about you?
My mom’s faith shows when she encourages me by saying, “Jesus signs your paycheck [for your life].” And it inspires me as does the times she talks about bills that were paid in unknown ways. Don’t let a job hold the power over you that only Jesus should have. I remember how the college I had applied for raised the tuition just before I moved to it, but a grant came through for me so I was able to attend. Thank you, Jesus!
Jesus is a caring Shepherd, the kind who is planning ahead for you: “For this is what the Sovereign Lord says: ‘I myself will search for my sheep and look after them’” Ezekiel 34:11 (NIV). Trust Him as your team’s leader as you two work through this time in your life. Life is not perfect, but peace, hope, and love are always yours through Christ.
Young professional Emily writes encouragement from a small, western town. Two of her main focuses are nonprofits and family. Her life is filled with caring for kids, mountain photography, facebook ministry, sweet pets, and finding humor. Knowing what it was like to go through a difficult accident, she frequently illustrates hope as a graphic designer and writer. She is inspired by the extravagant kindness of Jesus’ kingdom.
Don't give up. God is not done with you yet. He just might be in the process of answering your prayer.
]]>“I can remember more than one time in my life when I felt completely broken; yet I’m still here.”
This list barely even scratches the surface of the times in my life when I’ve felt broken. What about you? I’m sure you can also make a list of all the times you were in so much emotional or even physical pain that you felt like you couldn’t go on.
But guess what!? You’re still here too.
You are not broken. You are not weak. Like me and so many others, you are making it through day-by-day.
“You may be hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. - 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
I often get asked, “How do you go on, how do you stay so positive even when you face such heartbreak and pain?”
My simple answer….
“I believe in the power of YET
There have been too many examples of when I thought all hope was lost; BUT GOD made a way.
I could go on, but I think you see my point. I’ve learned through the tough times in my life, that there has never been a situation in my life that was so broken that God can’t mend. He’s mended my heart, my relationships and my mind.
Seeing how He mends my feelings of brokenness even when His answer to my specific prayer may have been “no, Jamila, I’m gonna do this another way” has helped me grow to trust Him even more.
If you’ve been a part of our community for awhile, you might have noticed that I really like exclamation points!! I’ve had English teachers and editors and even friends tell me I overuse them a bit. Or as writer F. Scott Fitzgerald said “Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own jokes.” (I do that too, BTW 🤣)
But my favorite punctuation to use is actually the semicolon.
Most of the time I actually wear one around my neck.
A semicolon is used to link two independent phrases that are closely related in thought.
It’s literally a period on top of a comma.
The statement before it can be true (period); but (comma) God is still working.
In recent years the semicolon has become a symbol of mental health awareness, because it is a pause in a sentence, not the end of one. In other words, it’s not the end, keep going, keep living on.
It’s symbolic to me of choosing to go on.
That’s how I think about the seasons in my life when I feel broken.
The semicolon, that period and comma, for me represents my willingness to surrender all my broken pieces to God and trust that He will restore my joy and hope.
The semicolon reminds me to never give up, because God is not done yet.
I believe in the power of yet. Do you?
Jamila is the founder of loved+blessed. On her personal mission to leave a legacy of encouragement, she blogs about her own life lessons with the hope that it will bring joy into others’ lives and help them find the courage to keep walking in faith knowing that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. Read her testimony of how God turned her misery into ministry.